


Lavender Eyes

by TurnUps



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: AU, Adora is oblivious, Alternate Universe, Banter, Car rides, Emotional Abuse, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, High School, High School AU, Lesbian Adora, Modern, Modern AU, Physical Abuse, Swearing, Trans Bow, a lot of car rides, as oblivious as harry potter, bisexual glimmer, loads of banter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-01-16 13:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 40,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18522283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TurnUps/pseuds/TurnUps
Summary: Adora's on the football team. Glimmer's in the marching band. They think they hate each other - they're meant to hate each other -And yet accidents keep forcing the two of them together. Until Adora starts to realise that she doesn't really hate Glimmer at all...(T for swearing.)





	1. Chapter 1

Lavender Eyes

“Could you stop jiggling your leg?” the girl sitting next to Adora snapped.

Adora stilled her leg, taking a deep breath and holding it. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

“Why are you even here?” she continued, turning to Adora. She was shorter, even while sat down on these plastic chairs.

“Because it was my fault,” Adora said, which was actually the truth. It had been her who’d thrown the dodgeball. At the time, she had felt red hot anger in every one of her muscles. Even when it had smacked the girl on the side of the head with a resounding ‘thonk,’ she had felt immense satisfaction. It was only when she had gone down like a sack of bricks that Adora’s stomach had lurched.

Oh fuck, she’d thought. She had actually really hurt her.

Whilst Catra and Lonnie were slapping her on the back, she had been rushing over to her. Because, yes, she hated this girl – most people did.

Adora guessed it was all the ‘student council this’ and ‘student council that’ and ‘did you know my mum is the principal?’ It was always – ‘the art and drama department needs more funding instead of the sports department.’ It was always the way that she looked at Adora whenever she spoke in class – especially if she answered questions correctly.

But looking back on it now, she could barely remember saying more than a quick question to the girl at any time. A ‘do we have homework today?’ or ‘could you put this in the back of the van?’ when they were packing up for an away game.

Now here they were, alone outside the nurse’s office. There was the distant rumble of chatter from the classrooms opposite them and most of Adora wished more than anything to join them. She wanted to change out of her sweaty leggings and oversized t-shirt and pretend like nothing had happened. Like she didn’t care that she had all but knocked a girl out in dodgeball. Catra wouldn’t. In fact, Catra would preen about it for the rest of the day.

But the rest of her – the smaller part –  wanted to make sure that the girl was okay. It was a part of herself that she rarely indulged – because helping other people didn’t get her to the top. It didn’t make her good at football and it didn’t make her top of the class.  Just once, she wanted to indulge that part.

It was different without Catra and Lonnie behind her. She felt hidden. No one would find out about this – no one was here to witness it. No one would know that Adora was talking to the student council president who everyone despised – Glimmer.

“It was your fault? I thought you were _aiming_ for me.”

“It’s dodgeball,” Adora said. “You’re _meant_ to aim at each other.”

“You don’t have to throw the thing like you’re trying to get a touchdown!”

A football joke? Really? That was low hanging fruit.

“So, what? I’m supposed to go easy on you because you’re not on the football team?” Adora wasn’t even look at her. She was looking straight ahead to keep her temper – even if her hands were gesturing beyond her control. She was trying to do a nice thing here – the decent thing.

 Maybe this was why she shouldn’t indulge the ‘helping others’ part of herself.

“No – but maybe go easy on the fat kid!”

Adora looked then, just in time to see Glimmer slumping back in her chair with her arms crossed firmly over her chest. She met Adora’s eyes with a determined glare.

“You’re not fat.”

It hadn’t even been an automatic response. Not a ‘does my arse look big in this?’ ‘no, of course not,’ knee-jerk reply. Adora had meant it.

Of course – she wasn’t thin. But she wasn’t _fat_ , either Not with the negative connotations that everyone attached to it. Glimmer had curves – but they were graceful curves. Curves that made her look like a Rembrandt painting.  She wasn’t tall and hard and pinched like Adora.

Glimmer didn’t hear the sincerity in Adora’s voice. She rolled her eyes and scoffed, “Yeah, okay.”

“I mean it. I wouldn’t have said it otherwise.” She was leaning on her knees, looking over her shoulder at Glimmer. The eye-roll had made her notice that her eyes were grey – but not really grey. More like violet. The colour Barbie eyes used to be. They were almost shocking against her olive skin and dark eyelashes.

Those eyes narrowed at Adora.

“So, your friend ‘accidentally’ tripped me up in the hall yesterday and ‘accidentally’ knocked my bag off my shoulder this morning and now you’re sitting here paying me compliments?”

“That – that’s not – Catra doesn’t mean any harm.”

“Doesn’t she?”

“She just – she likes to get under people’s skin. She steals my stuff all the time at home – hides it all over the house. When I’m studying, she’ll knock shit off my desk just for a laugh.”

“Then it seems like a lot of you like to get under people’s skin,” Glimmer muttered. She scuffed her sneaker on the floor and it squeaked. She must have been the only kid in gym not wearing converses.

Adora didn’t know what to say to that. She shrugged and pushed the stray hairs away from her face, tightening her ponytail. ‘Maybe if you weren’t so opinionated about everything’, she wanted to say. Or ‘maybe if you weren’t so annoying people would leave you alone.’

But Glimmer’s gaze had softened. Only slightly, but her voice dropped too.

“I didn’t know you lived with her.”

“Huh? Oh – yeah, I’m – I’m adopted. We both are. Put with the same foster mother because we were so inseparable. I mean – the home was ready to separate us, but Beatrix said it was fine.”

“I’m – sorry.”

It was mainly that awkward apology that everyone gave her when they found out. The sorry that Adora couldn’t understand and was starting to hate. Maybe there was a slither of sincerity in it, but she doubted it.

“I never got that,” she said – and wondered why she was only saying it now. Maybe it was just the sorry that broke the camel’s back. Maybe she knew that Glimmer wasn’t about to tell anyone. “That’s just the way it is. I’m adopted. If I wanted people to be sorry about it, I wouldn’t tell them about it.”

“Because you hate being the centre of attention, right?” The sarcasm was back, dripping in full force.

“I wouldn’t make a big deal of never knowing my parents just for attention,” Adora spat. “Shit – who do you think I am?”

“Practically perfect in every way. Adored by the whole school for being able to run fast and kick a ball.”

“Right, yeah – I’m just a dumb jock.” Adora’s face was burning – it always did when she got mad. “Oh, wait, no – I’m a straight A student.”

“So am I!”

“Well good for you!”

“You too!”

“I don’t even know why I-“ Adora stood. She let her fists clench and unclench a few times, like she was wringing out her anger through a sponge. “I don’t even know why I even bothered. I hope I gave you a concussion.”

“Oh, screw you, Adora.”

“Right back at you!”

The door to the nurse’s office opened then. She blinked between the two of them. Maybe she had heard the screaming match, maybe she was just ready now. Adora didn’t know and she couldn’t find it in herself to care. She opened her mouth to explain, closed it, then simply pointed a finger at Glimmer and charged back down the corridor.

That had hurt. That had hurt more than she had thought it would.

She didn’t care about her parents. She never had – but to say she was trying to get attention for it? Glimmer was the one who had brought it up.

Maybe she did deserve to have Catra trip her up – if she was going to start being spiteful for no reason like that. Or if she was going to decide things about people without even knowing anything about them. If she was going to hate Adora for being good at things. Of course, she was good at things. She worked hard to be good at things. She didn’t have free time – she had practice, practice, practice.

Adora slowed to a halt in the middle of the corridor. She could still see that eye-roll in her mind’s eye. Purple eyes. A small, sarcastic, disbelieving smile. That was Glimmer’s smile. She didn’t think she’d ever seen a genuine smile from her.

What would it look like?

What would it be like to be friends with someone who had that glimmer of sincerity in their ‘sorry?’

No one she knew gave genuine apologies. Catra didn’t apologise for shit and even when she did, it was muttered with rolled eyes and a ‘I can’t believe you’re seriously upset,’ tone. Lonnie was sarcastic – everyone on the team was sarcastic when they apologised. Or just uncaring. An automatic response.

And Glimmer thought that she was like them. That when she said, ‘you’re not fat,’ she hadn’t even meant it. Like she was just an empty, performative shell.

She gritted her teeth, the anger coursing through her now.

Her hand flew out, punching a locker.

And she regretted it two seconds later, when a burst of pain blossomed across her knuckles. She hadn’t even made a dent and it hadn’t even made the anger waver.

“Who was that for?”

She whipped her head around to the sound of the voice and suppressed a groan. Of course – who else but Glimmer’s best friend? The only other member of the student council who acted like they had a responsibility. Bow, she thought his name was. He was leaning against the lockers down the corridor, a ratty jacket slung over his gym kit.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, since you tried your best to dent Glimmer’s skull, I figured you’d have the decency to punch her to her face,” he said. He shook his head, though he was smiling slightly. “Doing it behind her back like this…she’ll be mad when she finds out.”

Adora frowned. The adrenaline was fading now.

“Are you teasing me?”

“I tease everyone. It’s why I’m so lovable.”

“I’m not sure the school agrees with that last bit.”

“Oh, the school doesn’t have to. The student body is just jealous of my insanely lovable nature.”

Adora wasn’t sure whether to laugh or get angrier. She stood there, staring at him. He was smiling at her, but there was something else behind it. Like he was sussing her out. She had never understood this boy – this boy who played flute and whose shirts always looked like they had shrunk in the wash. This boy who wore heels and just finger-gunned at anyone who laughed. Like he didn’t care. How could he not care? Appearances were everything.

“I’m guessing you snuck out of class to check on her?” she asked instead.

“That’s what friends do, yes.”

Was it? Catra just glanced across at Adora and murmured an ‘oh, you’re back,’ whenever she had to go to the nurse.

“Well, your friend is a right tit,” Adora said.

“I’m sure she’d say the same to you.”

“I don’t get it. I don’t get what I’ve done to earn this unbridled hatred.”

“Unbridled hatred?” Bow raised a heavy eyebrow. He was smiling like she amused him – like she was part of some joke to him. “It’s not you – it’s the whole team. None of you have any respect for us band kids.”

“And you don’t have any respect for us.”

“So, the cycle continues.” Bow sighed. He kicked off from the locker, sliding his hands into the pockets of his baseball jacket. “Why don’t you think about it? Think about what you’re doing whilst your mates make all those comments.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

The eyebrow just raised again. He didn’t even say anything else as he headed down the corridor – passing her on his way to the nurse’s office and leaving Adora staring after him.

What was any of that supposed to mean? What was with that smug look and sad shake of the head. Like she was a stupid child.

She was getting tired of people thinking that she was stupid and vain and childish. Like she was missing out on some big thing that she wasn’t seeing. How was she meant to see it if no one was going to tell her what is was?

Just why had everyone chosen _her_ to hate? _She_ wasn’t the one tripping people up in halls. She hated those kids, sure, but she wasn’t about to act on it.

Or did she hate them? She didn’t think she did – she didn’t think she _cared_ enough to hate them. They were just there – the weird student council. Because Glimmer had decided to cut her hair and die it a pinky-lavender and it only looked cool for a week or two before it was faded and grimy. Because she didn’t fit in with everyone else. She didn’t care what she did to her hair. Good on her for not having her mother murder her for doing it.

So, she didn’t understand why it was her – the one who didn’t have a problem with it – that was getting all the blame pegged onto her. She didn’t understand any of it.

And she really couldn’t bring herself to care.

*

Adora was bad at not caring. Ever since the fight outside the nurse’s office and the cryptic conversation after, it had been playing on her mind. She _wasn’t_ doing anything.

She was just standing by whilst Catra did what she wanted.

But what was she supposed to do? She wasn’t about to tell Catra to stop anything. She wasn’t about to risk the wrath of Catra.

And did it really matter? Why was it up to her to solve Glimmer’s problems.

It still bothered her, though. That was her friend and she chose to do that with her time. All her friends did, like some hideous mob mentality.

Was this the peer pressure that she had been warned about her entire life?

The thoughts had niggled in her mind so much that she had passed the post-practice burger run. How could she eat Wendy’s when she was worrying about whether or not she was a good person? She had just shrugged and said that she needed to study.

“Study? What for?” Lonnie had wrinkled her nose.

“We’ve almost caught up to Adora’s pre-reading in class, so she has to put the time in.” Catra had rolled her eyes. “Go on – go study, golden girl.”

She had just smiled gamely. She hated being called that by other people. That was something between her and her foster mother – being golden. Being perfect. It felt like Catra was looking into something private.

Then she had climbed into her car – her perfect PT Cruiser – and just drove. She wasn’t going to study – not tonight. But she wasn’t ready to head home – that would raise more questions. ‘Why aren’t you out with the team?’ ‘Why aren’t you watching Catra?’

Catra could watch herself tonight, Adora decided. She was an adult as much as her.

She spotted a flicker of lavender in the distance and frowned. The streetlights flooded the pavement with white light, illuminating the figure like a spotlight, impossible to miss.

Adora couldn’t believe it. She slowed as she approached the figure.

Seriously? She wanted to scream. Was the universe just against her? She hit a girl in a head with a dodgeball and suddenly she was driving down the same street as her. She saw enough of her in the corridors, flinching under her glares.

She carried on, past Glimmer.

But then she glanced in the wing mirror. And got a glimpse of red eyes and damp cheeks. She slowed again, so that she was almost crawling along the road. Yes – it was Glimmer – with her hair curled in a cloud around her head that was starting to fall flat. Glimmer with her arms tightly across her chest and her phone clasped tightly in her hand and the strap of her dress falling down her shoulder. A nice dress – with a glittery top and a chiffon skirt.

Adora hated herself for doing it, but she stopped the car. It was that same clench of ‘I should do this,’ from earlier. The same rarely indulged part of herself that wanted to do something good. Be the bigger person. That was what perfect girls did.

So, she rolled down the window, pushing back hair that had escaped from her tight ponytail back before she tried to smile heroically.

“You okay?”

Glimmer stopped. Just stopped in the middle of the path, wobbling slightly on heels. She wiped her eyes roughly with the heel of her palm and sniffed. She glared again – that same glare that she always gave Adora.

“I’m fine!”

Adora bit back the ‘you don’t look it’ in her tongue.

“Can I offer you a lift?” she tried instead, because now that she had her head out the window, she could feel the drops of rain. Glimmer’s skirt had tiny, dark spots on it – as if the stars had melted into the chiffon. “It must suck to walk in those heels.”

“Shows that you’ve never worn heels.” Glimmer said. But she still hadn’t moved. She was swaying slightly, even standing still.

Adora bit her lip. She didn’t want to leave a girl crying on the pavement. She wanted to be that hero in people’s stories. The good person.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Glimmer started to nod, and then her face crumpled, and she shook her head. She was wiping her cheeks again.

“I’ll take that lift,” she said, her voice wobbly and weak.

Adora nodded and gestured to the passenger side. She didn’t know what to say. She had no idea what to say to this girl in tears. This girl who hated her, who was in tears and getting in her car.

Glimmer slid into the passenger seat a moment later, her head down and her hands clutching her purse. Adora still didn’t say anything, just eased the car back into motion.

It was a good minute before she thought to ask, “where am I taking you?”

Glimmer murmured an address and Adora’s stomach dropped. They had been driving in the wrong direction. She tried to u-turn as discreetly as she could, hoping that Glimmer wouldn’t notice. She wasn’t good at u-turns.

But she didn’t even look up. She had just been staring at her lap, her hands methodically coming up to wipe her face. Her shoulders were shaking. Bare shoulders, Adora realised – and wondered why that seemed significant to her.

She lived on the other side of town – because of course she did. That was all Adora wanted today – a long, awkward drive.

“So,” she stretched the word out. “How – how’s band?”

“Do you really want to know or are you just asking?”

“I’m asking because I didn’t think you’d want to talk about why you’re walking down a road sobbing your heart out and whilst looking like that.”

“Like what?”

“Beautiful.” Adora wasn’t paying attention to what her mouth was saying. She was busy getting onto a roundabout and counting the exits. It was only when they were on a straight road again that her head caught up to her mouth. What did it matter? She asked herself. It was true – she had to imagine back the mascara and half of Glimmer’s eyeliner wings, but she looked beautiful. Just because she was annoying, it didn’t mean she didn’t _look_ nice.

“What, did Catra ask you to say that?” Glimmer’s voice still sounded like it was breaking on every syllable and when Adora glanced across at her, she had that small, self-depreciating smile.

“No – no, I – what do you have against Catra, anyway?”

“What does she have against me?”

“Shit, Glimmer, because you’re always preaching about one thing or another and you think we’re all sacks of shit for not caring that the school play can’t afford to buy a man-eating plant prop.”

“Well, you are all sacks of shit for not caring about Audrey Jr,” Glimmer said. But it wasn’t a snap – it was a tease. The same teasing tone that Bow had used. Glimmer sniffed. “You – I didn’t think you even knew my name.”

“Oh, everyone knows your name.” Adora said. She tried to say it lightly, like it wasn’t a bad thing.

“Yours too. Yours for good reason.” Glimmer wasn’t looking at her, she was staring out the window. “Star quarterback, grade-A student, the school’s golden girl.”

She really wished people would stop saying that. It flicked her anger back on.

“Don’t sound too jealous.”

“I’m _not_ jealous.” Glimmer snapped. “ _I_ have good friends – and that’s more important than being able to run well.”

“I have good friends too.”

“Yeah? Then why are you driving home alone?”

“They all wanted to go on a burger run. I wasn’t hungry.” Adora took her frustration out on the indicator.

“You’re always eating like there’s no tomorrow.”

“Well. Not tonight.” Adora gritted her teeth. She didn’t want to have an argument with a girl who had been in tears two minutes earlier.

The silence returned. Nice and awkward, Adora thought. She did have good friends – friends that she could always call when she needed them. Not that she would – if there was a problem, she’d deal with it herself. But she knew Lonnie would come running if she asked.

She was sure.

“So, why were you out on the streets by yourself at this time of night?” she asked – because she felt like it was her turn to get under Glimmer’s skin. Because if she had such great friends, why was she left to walk home alone in tears?

Because it wasn’t even really that late. It wasn’t even ten o’clock.

She heard Glimmer’s shaky breath in. Almost _felt_ her preparing her answer.

“There was a party – I wanted to leave early,” she said.

“Because there was alcohol? They were peer-pressuring you to drink?” It was an unnecessary dig, but Adora felt entitled to it after all the unnecessary digs last week.

“Of course there was alcohol – and I _do_ drink, so you can shut up.” Glimmer took another breath. Like it was an effort. “No, it was Bow. There was a guy that he’s head over heels for there and he was finally starting to pay attention to him – but he was giving me a lift home. I didn’t want to get in the way. I just – said that I’d walk home.”

“Bow – Bow’s gay?” That was the detail that Adora’s brain had zoomed in on. It probably made her seem like a dick, but that had been what made her breath catch. It was what had made her glance up from squinting at road signs and over at Glimmer.

She was watching Adora with a strange expression on her face, her arms still folded over each other like she was protecting herself. Like Adora was going to jump her right then and there.

“You didn’t know?” she asked.

“No.” Adora said, honestly. She didn’t know. She didn’t know that she wasn’t the only one. She didn’t know that anyone had come out at their high school. She didn’t know that anyone _could_ – that anyone had the balls to do it.

Because she had known for a while. Of course she had figured it out. And of course she wasn’t about to tell anyone. She didn’t think ‘gay’ fitted in with her foster mother’s idea of the perfect daughter. Much too different. Much too many emotions to deal with.

She had to continue – to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal.

“So – is that why – you were…?” She couldn’t even focus on making a full sentence.

“Crying?”

“Mm,” she didn’t want it to seem like a big deal. But it seemed like a big deal – girls like Glimmer didn’t seem to cry. Glimmer was tough and angry and the fact that she had a fondness for purple and dresses and nail polish didn’t mean she didn’t have a bite on her.

“It wasn’t – I don’t _like_ him, or anything like that-“ Glimmer said. “It was – it’s stupid. I was just scared and all of a sudden I started crying. Childish, I know.”

“It’s not,” Adora said. That had been the only knee-jerk response she had given her. She didn’t know if it was childish. She didn’t cry because she was scared – Adora cried because she was stressed. She had nothing to be scared about. She couldn’t _imagine_ having anything to be scared about. “Scared?”

“It’s dark and it’s cold and-“

“You want to go home?”

Glimmer paused. “Was that a theatre reference?”

Adora bit her lip so that the smile threatening to flicker onto her face couldn’t escape. She hadn’t really meant to say it – it had been something that she’d swallow down when she was with Catra. That wasn’t Adora – it wasn’t the team’s image of her.

But again, she felt safe saying it now. Glimmer was hardly going to share this story with everyone. Bow, maybe, but that was it. And he didn’t think either of them would care that she’d seen _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_.

Instead, she turned again. Half-blindly, because she didn’t want this car ride to end before she had some answers.

“I cut you off.”

Another pause. Longer this time, and Adora could feel eyes searching her face.

“Yeah – it’s dark and it’s late and my phone’s almost dead. I was scared using maps was going to kill it even more, but I wasn’t sure of the way and – well, I was heading in the wrong direction anyway, so it’s a good thing you came along when you did.”

“My pleasure.”

“I’m not – you’re still insufferable, you just have good timing.” Glimmer said and Adora laughed. Actually laughed – a short, loud bark that seemed completely out of place. “I freaked myself out – thinking about rapists and murderers and this one horror story I read about streetlamps.”

“Oh, the grinning man?”

“That’s the one.”

“Catra told me about it when I was twelve. There’s a streetlight outside my window and I kept my blinds closed for weeks.” Why was she saying that? It was supposed to be a secret. She hadn’t even _told_ Catra how much it had scared her.

“So you do have a weakness.”

“I wouldn’t call it a weakness,” Adora frowned at the road, but for some reason she was smiling. “Just a – healthy awareness of urban legends.”

Glimmer made a sound that could have been a laugh. A half-laugh, half-sob. But by the time Adora glanced at her, the smile had already gone. She was left with a feeling like whiplash. That was banter. They were having _banter_.

When had that happened?

“Like I said, it was just stupid. I was just scared,” Glimmer said. She smoothed out her skirts. “I – was scared that this guy might take over Bow’s life. That he didn’t even care that I was walking home alone.”

“Bow doesn’t seem like that kind of guy.”

“He’s not. I _said_ – I’m being stupid.”

They were getting close now, Adora realised. And strangely, she felt a little sad at that. She didn’t _want_ to get to Glimmer’s house. Of course she did – she didn’t want to sit her with this girl.

But this girl hadn’t made a jibe for the whole car ride. She had been honest. And Adora had been honest. If she was in a teen movie, she’d say it was a bonding moment.

She didn’t want to have a bonding moment. She didn’t want to think about the teen movie she may or may not be trapped in.

What kind of movie would that be anyway?

And what did that make Glimmer? The best friend? She had a best friend. She didn’t need another one and she didn’t want to imagine replacing her with anyone. The love interest?

She pushed the idea way as quickly and quietly as it had come to her. No. Just no. There wasn’t exactly a list of reasons – it was just ‘no.’

Not gay – that was a good one.

Glimmer was not gay. And Adora was in no rush to leave the closet. It was safe in the closet. Things didn’t change in the closet.

She had been silent too long, she knew, and she was pulling into the road Glimmer lived on. Etheria Road. So, the car slowed to a halt.

“Well, I – I hope your fear is unfounded. I hope it – works out.” She said.

“Do you really care, or are you just saying that?”

She turned then, frowning slightly, because this had been a _bonding moment_ and they had gotten _nowhere_.

“I don’t say things I don’t mean.” Adora said.

Glimmer stared at her for a moment. Her eyes were smudged with black like a raccoons and the curls had started to fall out of place, but she looked unreal for a moment. Ethereal came to Adora’s head and she wasn’t sure why. She was just a girl sat in her car. Just a girl in a party dress who had been crying.

But it seemed like she was _looking_ at Adora – really _looking_ at her, for the first time.

“Thanks.” Glimmer’s voice was quiet – breathless.

“And if-“ Adora’s hands clenched on the wheel. She cleared her throat, as if it would clear her mind. “If that grinning man gives you any trouble – you just – send him my way. I kick things good, apparently.”

“Finally, a good use for it,” Glimmer said. She was opening the door of the car, stepping tenderly out into the street.

Adora laughed again – the same too-brief, too-loud laugh. That should have made her angry. It should have made her defensive. But she was starting to understand the teasing.  Maybe she was even starting to like it.

She threw her head back against the seat, trying to figure out the feeling going through her chest. It made her body feel light but her chest heavy, like her heart had been replaced with a stone. She was exhilarated and yet she was disappointed.

Adora stayed for a moment, making sure that Glimmer got into her house. Just as she knocked on the door, Adora realised. There was a sprinkle of purple glitter in the car, stuck to the seat.

Glitter from the dress.

She rolled down the window without thinking about it, leaning her elbow on the side so she could stick her head out, “Your stupid dress got glitter all over my seats!”

The door was already opening, and she knew Glimmer’s mother had heard her. She was looking at her now, but Adora wanted to focus on Glimmer’s face. She had turned to look at her, her mouth in a small ‘o,’ like there was something unexpected about this. Hell, it was all unexpected.

And the most unexpected was Glimmer blowing a kiss to her.

“Something to remember me by!”

It was the same sarcastic tone. Even the kiss was sarcastic, Adora could admit.

But that didn’t dislodge the strange feeling in her chest from it. It didn’t dislodge the fact that Glimmer had smiled. A smile that lit up those lavender eyes. A smile that made Adora half-believe she was in that teen movie.

And maybe that wasn’t a bad thing.

 


	2. 2

2

Catra noticed the glitter. Because it was Catra and her eyes lived up to her name.

“The fuck is this?” she pointed to it, before she got in.

Adora looked at it. Hopefully her face looked confused and not reliving a strange but enjoyable car ride to the nice side of the neighbourhood. Where the houses had flowers in the window boxes instead of broken glass. Where they had lattices of wood and tiny balconies wrapped around upstairs window.

The glitter had been sat there for three days – since Friday night. It was Monday morning and she hadn’t had the heart to clean it up. Normally Adora took care of her car – her car was her baby and she washed it every week, inside and out. But the glitter – she had decided the glitter could stay.

She shrugged, “Fuck knows.”

At least it made Catra shrug and sit down, slamming the door with force enough to make Adora wince. She was anal about her Cruiser. It had been her sixteenth birthday present. The perfect present for the perfect girl, as Beatrix had said. She wanted to take care of it.

To keep it perfect, because she wasn’t.

They started off, making the obligatory Starbucks stop on their way in.

“When are you going to learn to drive, Catra?”

“When you stop driving me.”

It was the same conversation they had every other day, but it still made them grin at each other. See, Adora wanted to say – best friend. Best friend banter. Glimmer didn’t hold a candle up to that banter.

Only that banter had left that strange light-heavy feeling in her. That banter she wanted more of – instead of the same thing over and over. She decided to try something out – dip her toe in untrod water.

“Did you know that Bow kid’s gay?”

“Yeah, and?”

“I just – I only found out last week, and – I don’t know.”

“Pretty sure ninety-percent of the student council is gay,” Catra was peering in the overhead mirror, fiddling with the little row of rings that went down the side of her ear. Beatrix had gone mad at each knew addition. It hadn’t stopped her. “Hell, pretty sure ninety-percent of this generation is gay.”

The thought made Adora’s stomach flip. Ninety-percent of the student council? Did that include-

And why was she even thinking about it as a possibility? Hate – Glimmer hated her. That wasn’t going to change because of a car ride.

Why was the idea so appealing anyway? She didn’t care. She was sure that she didn’t care.

Catra was joking, anyway. She had to be.

“C’mon – we’re not.”

There was a pause. Adora glanced at Catra. She had her coffee to her lips and her eyes out the window.

“Yeah,” Catra said after a moment.

“Catra? You – you okay?”

“Oh – hey, look – that Chipotle’s done getting refurbished.”

It was Catra’s way of snubbing her. Of saying ‘we don’t talk about this shit and we’re not about to start.’ Because they didn’t talk about feelings. Not really. Not ever. But Glimmer had. She had shared fears. And though Adora had been completely unsure of what to say – she had managed.

The conversation had dropped. If there had ever been a time for Adora to peek out into a different world, the door had slammed shut. She was trapped, for better or for worse.

School continued like normal. Subjects, lunch, subjects, training. Even if they officially met on Fridays, they would get together most evenings. The Horde had been top of the league for decade and they weren’t about to mess that up. They had to be the best – and if that meant training every day, so be it.

They had to win. Winning was everything. That had been drilled into Adora. If you weren’t winning – if you weren’t the best – what was the point? What was the point of anything less than perfect?

So, everything had been normal – right up until training.

It was stupid – so incredibly stupid, but it had started to spit with rain. The not-quite rain of September, forecasting a miserable fall. The rain had been at fault – because the rain had made Adora think of stars melting onto chiffon skirts. It had made her think of that smile. That stupid smile, because she wasn’t looking where she was running, and her foot had caught on a rock. Not even a rock, a pebble.

A stupid pebble that went skittering off and left Adora sprawled in the mud of the track with a searing pain in her ankle.

She lay there for a moment, waiting for the pain to fade whilst she tried to sit up. Her arms were caked in mud.

Lonnie caught up moments later.

“You good?”

“Fuck,” was all Adora could reply. She had expected it to be a sharp pain and then a fade, but it was still aching in full force. “ _Fuck_ , it hurts.”

“Come here.”

Her arm was thrown over Lonnie’s shoulder and she was being hauled to her feet. She kept her foot off the ground. Her legs were just as splattered in mud.

“What’s the problem?” someone yelled from the other end of the pitch.

“Adora’s ankle.”

“Shit – we haven’t even finished warm ups!”

“Get her to sit out for a bit.”

“No, she needs to see the nurse.”

“What? Lonnie, no!”

“First match is next week. It’s better safe than sorry!”

“I’m fine, really.”

“No. No, you’re not.” Lonnie said. Her eyes flashed and her voice was firm.

Adora found herself nodding.

“I’ll help you get to the nurse’s room,” Lonnie continued. She helped her hop back across the grass and into the school building. The ache was starting to ease now, or maybe it was just the effort of hopping all the way back inside, her hand in a death grip on Lonnie’s shoulder.

But she finally made it back to the nurse’s office.

Lonnie helped to ease her into one of the plastic chairs and Adora noticed her arm linger just a second more than it needed to on her back.

“You should get back.”

Lonnie nodded. She took a few steps, then glanced behind her.

“You gunna be okay?”

Adora nodded and forced a smile.

She watched Lonnie walk back down the corridor.

She had lied. She wasn’t sure she was going to be okay. She was worried – worried that her leg wouldn’t heal in time and she’d be sat out for the rest of the season. That was her worst nightmare.

After a moment, Adora took a breath and eased herself around the plastic chair to knock at the door.

This had been where it had started. Where she had said more than a passing comment to Glimmer. The dodgeball incident that had made her life a teen-movie.

“You got me at just the right time – I was ready to head home for the day!”

Adora smiled wanly as she was invited inside. After a few minutes, the tension had gone from her. It wasn’t a break, wasn’t a sprain. It probably wasn’t even a torn ligament. She would most likely be fine if she went home and put some ice on it.

Adora was going to play this season. She was going to win.

So, she gave a real grin and a real ‘thank you,’ as she hobbled out of the nurse’s office. Just bent her ankle the wrong way. But better to go home and be safe than sorry. The thought blinded her – the relief that she was absolutely fine, that everything was going to stay the same –

That she didn’t look where she was going for the second time in an hour.

She stumbled into the poor person who happened to be walking by the nurse’s office. They made her lurch forward, put weight on her sore ankle-

Suddenly she was clinging on for dear life and waiting for the sharp, searing pain to calm down again.

“ _Ow!”_

She knew that voice.

Adora eased her eyes open and her stomach dropped.

Glimmer was frowning at her, a big, black instrument case in her arms.

Adora dropped her grip, then promptly lost her balance on one foot and clattered back into the plastic chair. The nurse gave her a strange look as she headed from her office. But she was done for the day and that made not spending a second longer at the school – and just continued down the hall. And Glimmer was still staring at her as if she was a crazy person.

“Sorry,” Adora said, too late.

“What the hell?”

“I – I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“Evidently,” Glimmer hitched the black case back into position.

Seriously? Again? Adora was starting to believe the movie theory – or that she had somehow cursed herself throwing that dodgeball and she was destined to run into Glimmer forevermore.

“What’s wrong with you?” Glimmer continued. But it wasn’t an angry ‘what’s wrong with you?’ She was looking at Adora’s leg. Not looking particularly concerned, but not looking venomously hateful of her either.

“Twisted it,” Adora said. She shrugged. “Not good at seeing today.”

“Oh.” Glimmer turned as if to leave. She looked like she was stuck to the spot. “Lots on your mind?”

It was so out of place that Adora was caught off guard. She said the first thing she could.

“Do you really want to know or are you just asking?”

Glimmer shrugged. They let the silence sit for a moment. Adora couldn’t admit the truth – not to her, but Glimmer wasn’t leaving.

“You alright to get home like that?”

“Ah – um,” Adora hadn’t even thought that far. It wasn’t like she could hang around for Catra to give her a lift. She’d just have to manage. “Yeah – fine.”

“Seriously?” Glimmer raised an eyebrow, that sarcastic smile appearing just at the edge of her mouth. Adora shrugged.

And Glimmer rolled her eyes. All the way up to those long, dark eyelashes. “Come on,” she said, with a heavy sigh. “I just finished up my lesson anyway.”

“You don’t have to-“ Adora spoke quickly.

“No, I had better pay you back. Then we’re even.”

“Thanks.” She wasn’t about to pretend she wasn’t grateful. She limped down the corridor beside Glimmer.

“Yeah well,” Glimmer gave another shrug. It was like they were doing shoulder work outs. “You did save my skin.”

“It was the decent thing to do.”

“Oh, my chivalrous knight.” Another eye-roll, but that teasing tone that was starting to make Adora’s heart rise. She didn’t want it to – she wanted to tell it ‘no, not this one. We don’t like this one,’ but it was determined to disobey her. “That was what my mum called you anyway – can you believe it?”

“I guess not.” She stopped in front of her locker, balancing on one leg as she opened it and started pulling her stuff out.

“She thought you were a guy, as well. I guess it was the jacket.” The jacket Adora was pulling on now – a red letterman. All the team wore them. She guessed it was kind of cliché. “And your hair was all pulled back.”

“It gets in the way.” Adora slung her backpack over her shoulder and they started off again.

“Why don’t you cut it?”

“You kidding? My mum’d kill me.”

Glimmer gave her an odd look then. For a moment, she wasn’t sure if she understood hyperbole, but then she said.

“It’s your hair.”

Perfect girls didn’t cut their hair short. That would be to different – too daring.

“Still,” was all she could say.

“My glitter and Glimmer!”

She hadn’t even noticed Bow coming down the hallway. He stopped, blinked at her.

“And her new beau,” he added.

“No, you’re Bow,” Adora said, before she could stop herself.

Bow grinned.

“I wish I’d never told you,” Glimmer scowled. At least it wasn’t just Adora she scowled at, then.

“Oh, come on, it’s funny.” Bow was fiddling with his own locker. He had a smaller instrument case over his shoulder.

“It’s hilarious that my mum thinks bisexual means bi-curious and ‘not really,’” Glimmer rolled her eyes. She was doing it a lot and they were just as mesmerizing as ever.

Oh.

Well that ruined Adora’s biggest reason for not thinking about it. At least she still had the ‘hate’ part.

Bow scoffed. “Yeah, and I’m just going through a tomboy phase.”

They both laughed. Adora didn’t get it. She just stood there, wishing she could shift her weight.

“Adora’s coming with us. She hurt her leg.”

“And you’ve come to her rescue.” Bow always seemed to be smiling. Adora hated people like that. At least, she thought she hated people like that. Now everything seemed to be changing.

“I call shotgun,” she said. Just for something to say as all three of them started back down the hallway.

“Not fair!”

“Is to,” Glimmer said. It almost gave Adora a heart attack – Glimmer? On  _her_ side? “She’s disabled and I’ll drop her off first.”

“Oh, you don’t have to.”

“Bow practically lives with me – and even if he was going home tonight, he could walk the five minutes. You can get in the front.”

Bow groaned again but winked at Adora. She wasn’t sure what to do back and ended up settling for an awkward smile.

Glimmer’s car was purple. Of course, it was. A purple little beetle. It suited her.

Bow clambered in the back and Adora awkwardly shuffled into the front seat. There was a collection of take out boxes and random props cluttering up the car. She kicked a feather boa away from her legs and into an empty MacDonald’s box. This car was messy – and there was mud splattered all over the bottom half of it.

And yet, she wasn’t completely disgusted by all of it.

“You’re going to get mud all over the seat,” Glimmer said, as she climbed into the driver’s side. There was a huge pom-pom on her car-keys that were buffeted by the aircon.

“Something to remember me by,” Adora said.

Glimmer glanced up at her. And smiled. Then the car was lurching out of the parking lot. It was the kind of car that moved in lurches – or maybe that was just Glimmer’s driving. The silence didn’t last long. Maybe it would have, because Adora had no clue what to say – but there was Bow in the car. He leant between the seats to talk.

“Isn’t this nice, guys? Two mortal enemies and a best friend, all in a car together.”

“Mortal enemies?” Adora echoed.

“Where do you live?” Glimmer asked over Bow. Adora gave her address over hesitantly. She wasn’t sure why – but she didn’t want the two of them to know she lived in the area of town not-so-lovingly dubbed ‘the fright zone.’

“Sure – don’t you hate each other’s guts.”

“I don’t hate Adora’s guts, I hate Catra’s guts,” Glimmer said simply. “Her and the rest of the team.”

“Gee, thanks.” But a thrill had run through Adora.

“Just last week you went on a tirade about perfect Adora with her perfect grades and perfect legs. I remember. I felt like Lucius Malfoy listening to his son.”

Perfect legs? That was the only part Adora concentrated on – she didn’t even follow the reference.

“Yeah, well-“ Glimmer paused. She looked warm – her face was flushed. “A lot can happen in a week.”

“Knight in shining armour,” Bow stage-whispered to Adora.

“Bow, stop.” They were stopped at the lights and Glimmer turned to Adora, those lavender eyes big and apologetic. “If he makes you uncomfortable, just say.”

“Why would the insinuation of being gay make someone uncomfortable?” Bow asked. “Are you being homophobic, Glim?”

Glitter groaned and rolled her eyes. Adora found herself laughing. She liked this – this three-way banter. Not as much as the two-way, but – it felt good. Better than the banter the team had. That was all just mean jokes and sarcasm.

“No, it’s fine – I’m actually-“ Adora stopped herself just in time. Caught the word as it threatened to escape. No – she couldn’t – that was still the unsayable. “Fine.”

They were both looking at her. She swallowed and looked out of the window instead. Glimmer changed the subject of conversation. Started talking about a show that she’d been watching on Netflix – one that was making her procrastinate too much. Bow joined in, enthusiastically.

At some point they must have noticed that Adora hadn’t said anything in a while.

“What have you been watching?” Bow asked.

There was silence – too much expectant silence in the car.

“Oh, I don’t,” Adora said. Then realised how weird that sounded and clarified. “I don’t have Netflix. I don’t really watch T.V that much either – I just, don’t have time.”

It wasn’t productive. Her time could be spent so much more productively. T.V was Catra’s thing – and it was Catra who had to hear how bad the T.V was for her brain.

“All work and no play,” Bow commented.

Adora shrugged. She could still feel Glimmer looking at her. She wanted to snap at her to keep her eyes on the road. To mind her own business. So Adora didn’t watch T.V. What was the big deal?

The big deal, she found out, was that she was cut out of the loop. That Bow and Glimmer kept talking about this and that and she had nothing to add.

It was a relief when she was dropped off at her house. She smiled and said, “thanks,” and hobbled up the drive like she didn’t notice the cigarette butts outside the door. Like she didn’t see that her house was falling down,and the paint was peeling and the next-door neighbours had a broken window they still hadn’t fixed.

Like she didn’t wish that she was going back with Glimmer to watch Netflix.

*

Adora didn’t understand why it was playing on her mind so much. Glimmer. Glimmer being bisexual. Glimmer not hating her. She didn’t even know if she  _liked_ her. Hadn’t she thought just last week she was annoying?

But was it annoying? To care about things? Was it annoying to have a good best friend and a nice house? Was it annoying to watch T.V but still be top of the class? Was it annoying to be happy?

Because Glimmer seemed happy. And that seemed foreign. Adora assumed that everyone was stressed and just finding a way to keep their head above the water.

Happy? What was that?

It wasn’t like she could act on it anyway. The thought had gone through her head time and time again during the game. As she pumped her legs across the field and felt the mud splatter her and adrenaline coursing through every part of her. She couldn’t act on it.  The team wouldn’t like it – especially not if she was  _gay_ and with  _Glimmer_.

Not to mention her foster mother.

No, there was no way. She repeated it to herself over and over again. But she also kept seeing the small smile Glimmer gave her in the hallways now. The snatches of conversation she would have if they were alone in the corridor. Something had changed. Something odd had happened. They weren’t friends, exactly, but-

Glimmer didn’t hate her.

And Glimmer was bisexual.

And there was no way that Adora could  _ever_ act on that.

They won the game. Of course, they did – because that was what the Horde did. They won.

Adora was grinning as she was pulling off a sweaty helmet. Everyone was hugging and cheering and clapping each other on the back but she slipped out of it. She was starting to do that. To inch away when Connie was bitching about someone. To tell Catra ‘that’s enough’ when she went too far. Bow had been right – she had been doing nothing. And that was just as bad as taking part.

It was a stupid lesson – a lesson they taught to kids – but she had learnt it. It had taken too long – but she got it now.

And she didn’t like it. She wasn’t sure she liked them, even though they were her friends.

So she stood to the side and gulped down a bottle of water, grinning whenever they glanced over to her. She pushed her hair out of her face, taking a breath and getting ready to leave. To grab her bags and get ready for a night of sitting in Arby’s verbally rerunning the game.

But Adora had developed a habit of not seeing. Of being too caught up in the cycle of ‘she’s bi/but I can’t act on it,’ to see the person right in front of her.

Suddenly she was being hugged and fluffy, short, purple hair was in her face.

It only lasted a moment, before Glimmer was pulling away and pushing her fringe out of her eyes. Her hair stuck up like wings either side of her face, which was flushed pink. She crossed her arms – like she was trying to cover up.

“Sorry – I just-“ Glimmer said. “I – that was cool. What you did out there. I only have a vague understanding of football, but that was – cool.”

“Oh.” It was all Adora could say. She felt like her brain had short-circuited. Like someone had turned off something important. “Thanks.”

Here was Glimmer. Hugging her. Congratulating her. Was this because of a few car rides? Had things really changed that much in a week? A lot could happen in a week. Glimmer had said that. It seemed she had meant it.

She smiled at Adora, looking self-conscious. She still had a large, gold instrument in one hand. Adora thought it was a trombone, but the brass section confused her. The red marching band uniform clashed with her pink hair – overshadowed those lavender eyes.  What was she doing here? Hugging a sweaty Adora like they were friends – something had changed.

A knight in shining armour, Bow had said. Maybe he had been right.

“So, I guess everyone goes out to celebrate now, huh?” Glimmer said.

“Yeah,” Adora said. “Arby’s.”

Was that an invitation? Was she hoping Glimmer would say yes? She wasn’t sure.

“Right,” Glimmer nodded. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Lavender coloured earrings – Adora noticed. Stars. “But you’re not over there?”

“I’m not. I don’t – I don’t know if I like my team that much.”

“I don’t know if I like the band that much,” Glimmer said.

Because now that Adora looked, they were all packing up. Their job was done, she supposed. No one was celebrating them.

“Wanna celebrate together?” she was asking. She was sure she only did because of the adrenaline. Because it was a bad idea, but it seemed like a good one for just a moment.

Glimmer paused, her eyes searching Adora's.

“Why not?” she asked, with that small smile of hers.

“Great.” Adora just stood there for a moment, still breathing heavily. Then she realised she was still swathed up in padding and added, “give me ten minutes to get changed.”

She ran to the school, because she had just finished the game it was sometimes hard to get out of the habit of running. That, and she didn’t want the others to see. Adora was true to her word, basically throwing off her clothes to throw skinny jeans and a t-shirt back on before anyone else could get back and catch her. At the last moment, she resprayed deodorant and sent a quick text to Catra with hands that were still shaking from adrenaline and pre-game nerves.

It was only when Adora was on her way out of the changing rooms that she realised that she needed a shower. That she probably stunk, and her hair was sweaty and messy – but it was just  _Glimmer_. She wouldn’t care. It wasn’t like she  _liked_ Adora.

She was waiting at Adora’s car, leaning against it like this was completely normal and scrolling through her phone. When Adora was closer, she looked up and smiled.

“I thought we should take yours. Mine’s still caked in mud.”

“Sorry about that.”

“Are you really?”

“I wouldn’t  _say_ it if I didn’t mean it.”

Glimmer just gave her a look, like she didn’t believe her. Then she shrugged and opened up the passenger side and slid in. Adora followed.

“Anywhere but Arby’s.” She said, putting the car into gear and pulling out of the car park. She could see the team slowly making their way over to the changing rooms, all jumping onto each other. Their arms in the air – she could almost hear the celebrations from here.

“You don’t want your cool friends to know you’re going out with a band geek?” Glimmer asked. Going out. Was that just a poor choice of words?

“Do you want my cool friends to know?”

“Alright, you win.”

Adora laughed and for once if didn’t sound like it was forced. It didn’t sound awkward.

“Fries and shakes?”

“Fries and shakes.”

Twenty minutes later they were pulling into the Steak n’ Shake on the other side of town. It felt surreal – it wasn’t particularly empty or particularly full, but normally the celebrations after the game were loud and crazy. It was always having to be funny and witty and  _on_ all the time. More of a performance than a celebration.

Adora didn’t feel like that as she walked inside with Glimmer – Glimmer who was still in her band costume and  _rocking_ it. It felt normal – like she could be herself.

Be herself with the girl who hated her guts. The girl who hated her guts who had agreed to go with her tonight. They got a window booth and Adora nursed a salted caramel milkshake between her hands and a portion of fries in front of her. Of course, Glimmer had chosen strawberry milkshake, because of course she did – because it was pink, and pink was close to purple.

“I love cheesey fries, but cheeesy fries always taste better when you’re drunk, right?” Glimmer said. Like this was completely normal. Like they were just two friends hanging out.

“I wouldn’t know.” Adora said. There was a strange twist in her stomach.

“You’ve never had fries drunk?”

“I’ve never  _been_ drunk.” Adora said. She pointed a fry at Glimmer. “And you shouldn’t either – that’s illegal.”

Glimmer blew her cheeks out, like that was a stupid thing to say.

“So?” she shrugged.

Perfect girls don’t drink.

But Glimmer wasn’t  _bad_. Glimmer was  _happy_  and seemed a lot more knowledgeable than Adora would ever be.

“You should come round to Bow’s – he has the basement. We could all chill with a couple of beers.”

“I couldn’t do that,” Adora said. “My mum’d kill me if she found out.”

“Well you wouldn’t  _tell_ her that’s what you were doing. You’d lie.”

“I couldn’t lie to my mum!”

“I lie to my mum all the time,” Glimmer said, she paused to take a mouthful of fries. “It’s a kindness – what she doesn’t know can’t hurt her, right?”

Adora paused. “Maybe.”

It became awkward. Adora could feel something against her foot. She assumed it was the table leg but she wondered if it was Glimmer’s foot. If she had meant to do that. She must have realised something was wrong, because she changed the subject slightly.

“So the football team doesn’t go on massive booze-ups?”

“Unless I’m not invited.”

“And you’d always be invited?”

“Well,” Adora shrugged and smiled. “I  _am_ the star player.”

Glimmer snorted. Adora laughed. She found that she was enjoying this – coming back to the same jokes. The same teasing and smiles and laughs. Glimmer’s laugh.  She wanted to hear Glimmer’s laugh more. She wanted to see Glimmer’s smile more – because now she had seen her smile. Genuinely smile.

It seemed perfect. The perfect evening, in a weird way. Maybe because it was such a change of pace, but probably because it was so  _easy_. Talking to Glimmer was so  _easy_ and fun and it made her grin. It probably had something to do with that sinking and rising feeling that Adora got when she dropped Glimmer back at her house. It definitely had something to do with the kiss that Glimmer had blown her from her front door before she disappeared inside.

Adora was happy. She felt –

Happy.

So, this was happy. She liked happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Sorry if you got a notification for this. I just wanted to move things around a little so it doesn't look so daunting that there's a 10k chapter.


	3. 3

Happiness lasted until she got home.

Her foster mother was standing the dark of the hall - so she was only a shadow. A shadow with crossed arms and a voice that snapped through the air like a whip.

"Where have you been?"

It made Adora falter - to grip the door frame and take a moment. She was breathless.

"I - was out celebrating the game."

"No you weren’t.”

“Yes-“ Adora frowned. She still couldn’t get her voice back. “I was.”

“You weren’t with Catra.”

Adora flicked on the hall light. It didn’t help. It only meant that she could see dark eyes flashing and lips curling. Beatrix was never normally angry with her – never _furious_ with her the way she was with Catra. She couldn’t remember the last time she had been on this end of the rage – maybe when she was little and gave herself a drastic haircut. Even then, she didn’t think Beatrix looked at her like she did now – like she was made of fire and Adora was ice.

“I – I was out with a friend. They’re not on the team.” She managed to say. She was fine, she told herself, she hadn’t done anything wrong. It was just a misunderstanding.

“Catra had no _idea_ where you were! She said you just _disappeared_.”

“No – I sent her a text! I told her!”

“ _Disappeared_ after the game and she hadn’t seen hide nor hair of you. What was I supposed to think, Adora? You could have been murdered or mugged and left in a gutter somewhere, you could have-“

“I _told_ Catra!” Adora yelled. It rung between them in the hall like an alarm bell.

Because if she thought her foster mother had looked angry before, now she was _completely_ furious.  In a second she transformed from her kind mother to a witch. Her dark hair almost spiralled out around her as she stared at Adora. Not stared – glared. Glared at Adora with contempt and disgust and –

Like she _hated_ her.

It made Adora turn cold, like she had just been dropped into an ice bath. She just stood there, staring and wishing that she had just apologised. There were a million things she should have said, but she shouldn’t have yelled.

“Get out of my sight.”

Adora obeyed, jumping to attention like a soldier and hurrying up the staircase as fast as she could possibly go. She half-fell into her room, leaning her back against the door. That had _hurt_. It had really _hurt_.

And it was so unfair.

She _had_ told Catra. She had been sure.

So she snuck out of her room, leaving the door to behind her. She padded across the doorway to Catra’s room. There was still a light on under the door and she slipped in without knocking.

Catra glanced up. She was illuminated by the glow from her laptop and it made her eyes look cat-like. Her hair was in a fuzz around her face – helmet hair.

“What?” she asked. There was a huge bag of doritos next to her.

Adora closed the door. “The fuck, Catra?”

“ _What_?”

“I told you I was taking a raincheck.”

“Yeah. And then you weren't at home." Catra said. She leant back against her pile of cushions.

Adora blinked. It had only just occurred to her that she had made it home before Catra. She never made it home before Catra. She was always the one that was missing - who stayed out half the night only to crawl into Adora's window.

She checked her watch and it left her breathless. It was late. Very late. Too late for a perfect girl to be out.

"- And you had snapmaps turned off so I couldn't even stalk you. I just told Beatrix the truth. I didn't know where you were."

"You could have covered for me," Adora snapped. She was still angry. She liked being angry. "Sisters cover for each other, Catra."

Catra paused.

"You really want to talk about what sisters do, Adora?"

Her voice was low and she all but spat the words out. She had said it slowly, like she was a panther stalking prey.

Adora frowned. She could feel her heart beating in her ears. "What are you talking about?"

The flash of anger in Catra's eyes passed.

"Never mind," she said. "You should get to bed. You have a lot of studying to catch up on."

Adora closed the door before she exploded. She stood in the dark of the hall, listening to her own heartbeat. She was furious - in that moment, she hated Catra. She hated the bitterness in her voice. She hated the way her eyes narrowed at her.

She didn't understand. She didn't understand the bitterness and the hatred. She didn't understand the anger.

She especially didn't understand how just ten minutes earlier she had been _happy._

*

Glimmer had started to write notes to Adora that got passed to her in class. She had cute handwriting, Adora had to admit – it was all round and decorated with little doodles. And of course she wrote in pink and purple gel pens.

They were never that interesting – they were little jokes and references. Sometimes doodles. But they still made Adora smile.

One in particular made her pause though.

‘Fancy a lift home?’

She had to reply. It made her pause, glance up at the teacher as if she was going to be caught out. She should be focusing – writing notes for class, not for the girl sat two rows back.

And yet – her mind went back to that car ride with Bow in the back. She smiled despite herself.

‘Sure,’ she sent back in her slanted scrawl.

She passed it on – and caught Catra’s eye as she did. She remembered the hate dripping from Catra’s tongue and just stared back at her.

They had band practice – that’s why they were offering to pick her up. But that was fine. Adora just slipped away after practice – whilst everyone was still in the showers. She had been skipping a lot of showers, but that was fine. At this point, she wondered if Glimmer even knew she could smell like a human and not a dirty sock.

She walked across the parking lot as though everything was normal – as though she was being spied on. Like the team was going to pop out and demand what she was doing and where she was going.

Glimmer’s car stood out like a sore thumb – it was much shinier than the others and no one else had that colour.  Adora slipped into the passenger seat, moving an instrument case.

“How was practice?”

“You really want to know?”

“Mmm, maybe not. It’s all Greek to me,” Glimmer said. She was pulling out of the space now and like clockwork Bow’s face appeared between the seats.

“I remember someone learning Greek, actually,” he said.

“You speak _Greek_?”

“For a year. In middle school – and it was ancient, not modern so I can’t say anything useful.”

“That’s still impressive.”

“Oh, I’m sorry – what are your grades in Spanish?” Glimmer looked at her, with that teasing smile of hers.

“How do you know my grades in Spanish?” Adora leant across without realising, feeling herself matching that smile.

"Um, could we pause the flirting and look at the road, please?" Bow said.

Glimmer did, the car lurching as she swerved into the right lane. Her face was red - bright red.

"Flirting? We are not flirting!" she cried.

Bow was laughing, it was obviously just a joke, but Adora found herself staring out of the window. Was it such a bad thing if they were?

"A-anyway, Adora." Glimmer was pointedly looking at the road instead of Adora. "We were wondering - you could come back with us, if you wanted? We were gunna get krispy kreme on the way home and then watch a movie?"

"Glimmer was wondering. I want her all to myself, honestly."

Adora was tempted. She was _so_ tempted to stay in this world - this new happiness that she had found.

But she remembered that voice. Those flashing eyes and teeth.

Her stomach curled back into itself. No, this was enough. The groundhog had peered out of its hole and saw it's shadow.

"I, uh, can't tonight. Those Spanish grades don't come easy." She tried to laugh. It sounded harsh.

"We can always study as well. It's more fun together."

Fun? Studying as fun? She had never thought of it. Studying was just something she did. Something she had to do.

"I could use the help, actually. I'd like to actually graduate high school." Bow said. He and Glimmer laughed.

Adora crossed an arm over her chest, touching her hand into her side like she was guarding herself. She focused on the window instead.

“I really can’t tonight,” she said.

“Well, that’s fine,” Glimmer said. “I’ll drop you off as normal.”

But Adora thought she heard disappointment in her voice – and she couldn’t blame her. There was disappointment settling in her own stomach. She wanted to go – she badly wanted to. It wasn’t worth the fury that would await her when she got home and the guilt that would sit in her stomach all night. Catra couldn’t be trusted, apparently, to cover for her.

It was like she had thrown a wet blanket on the mood of the car. They drove on with the same chit-chat as before – but there was something wrong about it. Adora was almost glad to get out just so that she could breathe. She managed to smile and wave as Glimmer pulled out. She wondered if she would ever have the guts to blow a kiss like Glimmer did.

If she’d ever have the guts to do half the things that Glimmer did.

But she really did have to study – she grabbed a bag of chips from the kitchen, knocking it closed with her elbow.

She hadn’t even realised Beatrix in the doorway until she turned. It made her heart skip a beat and she gave a nervous laugh.

“You scared me,” she said.

“Who was that?” Her foster mother jerked a thumb over her shoulder to the front door.

“Who do you mean?” Adora asked, she still had that nervous laugh. She knew it was absurd to play dumb – but she also knew that Beatrix would _hate_ Glimmer. She would _hate_ Bow too, Adora realised.

“That wasn’t your car.”

“Oh – no, my friend gave me a lift.” Adora said. She held the chips over her chest like it would hide her.

“And what about the car I _gave_ you?” Beatrix leant her hip against the door. There was no way for Adora to step around her. “Were you just going to leave it at your school? Where anything could happen to it?”

“It’ll be – it’ll be fine there. It’s all locked up by five or so, anyway.”

“How will you get to school tomorrow?”

“I’ll get the bus,” Adora said. She laughed again and it sounded fake in her ears. “What’s with the second degree?”

“I’m just worried, sweetheart.” Beatrix stepped forward, placing a hand on Adora’s arm and smiling. The smile settled her stomach – it made her feel better. It was okay. She was still liked. “You haven’t been yourself lately.”

“I’m fine.” Adora smiled.

“Catra says you haven’t been talking to her very much lately.”

“Yeah, well, Catra’s not so great.” Adora muttered, stepping forward to go back upstairs.

“What do you mean?” Beatrix’s hand tightened on her arm. Not enough to hurt, Adora told herself. It didn’t _hurt_.

“Nothing.” Adora said. “Nothing – we’ve just had a falling out. Stupid stuff, you know.”

She pulled away, gently. Beatrix nodded and rolled her eyes and said ‘you girls,’ so she guessed she was off the hook. Because Adora was no snitch. That was the rule that Adora and Catra had always had – no telling on each other.

At least, no purposely telling on each other.

And Adora didn’t want to admit that Catra was a bit of a bitch. She didn’t want to admit it to herself, let alone anyone else. Because Catra was her _sister_. Catra was the one who always looked after her – who made sure she didn’t work herself to death and who had taught her how to climb to the roof from her window. They had traded algebra for Spanish and spent nights telling stories that scared each other half to death.

Catra _couldn’t_ be a bad person.

But she had let Adora take the fall the other night.

And she couldn’t help but think that Glimmer would have covered for her. Glimmer would have lied to get her out of trouble – not into it.

*

The lifts home became a habit. Only on the days were Glimmer and Bow had band practice, but a habit nonetheless. Somehow, without discussing it between them, they started to meet at the bike shed. Glimmer and Bow were normally there before her – Glimmer perching on one of the silver rails and Bow discreetly trying to make her lose her balance every few seconds. She always managed to stay on by some miracle, swinging tan legs forward as she kept her balance like a monkey.

And displaying a lot of those tan legs, Adora couldn’t help but notice. Glimmer was a skirt girl – and they were generally pretty modest – but it was hard to remain modest when she was treating a metal bar like a swing.

They didn’t have a pattern when it came to whose car they were taking – it just depended on the day. The first time they had slid into Adora’s car, Bow had gasped.

“No stains, no mess – room for me to stretch out my legs! Adora, I love you and I love your car.”

Adora had laughed awkwardly, feeling her face warm.

She was getting used to the car rides. To Bow and Glimmer blasting on musicals and Disney songs and singing exaggerated but surprisingly on-key renditions. At least, she thought she was. Until one evening when they dropped Bow off at an actual restaurant for a date with the guy he had met at the party that left Glimmer walking home in tears. It was on that evening that she heard Glimmer sing ‘Part of Your World’ under her breath whilst she was trying to parallel park on Adora’s road. Her heart skipped a beat and raced to catch itself up. Jodi Benson had nothing on Glimmer’s not-paying-attention singing voice.

That was why she kept accepting the lifts, Adora realised. She liked hearing Glimmer sing. She liked Glimmer and she liked spending time with her –

So it only took her a week to take them up on the offer of a study session that wasn’t really a study session.

And it started off with a trip through the McDonalds drive through, because as soon as they saw those Golden Arches, both Glimmer and Bow started chanting for McFlurries. Adora was powerless to stop them.

And yet ice creams and Disney songs made it the best car ride she could ever remember.

Happy. This was happy and she could get addicted to it.

But that didn’t mean that she wasn’t nervous when she stepped into Glimmer’s home. It was posh – tiled floors and wooden wall hangings that had mother of pearl shining like iridescent moons as they came in. It was like walking into a tiny mansion, Adora thought – the front door lead to a large room that had a staircase spiralling up in the corner. The doors were all open, a breeze coming in through open windows.

Everything was light. There was light everywhere. It made Adora realise how dark her home was – the blinds and curtains were open in the day but they didn’t seem to let in sunlight. Nowhere ever felt as free as here.

“Mom I’m home!” Glimmer called. “We’re just going to hang out in the basement, okay?”

Her mom popped her head around the door of the kitchen. She frowned for a moment, before she rested her glasses on her head.

"You know the rules."

"Yeah, yeah - No drink, drugs, sex or anything else normal teenagers do. Noise at a mouse's whisper and everyone out by eight - no, seven."

Adora felt her muscles tense at Glimmer’s tone. Sarcasm. Eye roll. All of those things would normally mean no dinner.

But her mom smiled – like this was normal, and her sarcasm checked Glimmer’s. "Have fun."

"Always do living like a prisoner." Glimmer muttered. She was already walking towards the stairs, and Bow was following her.

“Maybe after another year I’ll let you off early for good behaviour.”

“Ha-ha.” Glimmer rolled her eyes. Then she paused, one hand on the railing. She smiled. “Adora, what are you waiting for?”

“So, this is the famous Adora.” Glimmer’s mom turned the same lavender eyes her daughter had to Adora.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Gongjunim.”

“And so polite," Glimmer's mom smiled in a way that made Glimmer squirm. Adora knew why - there was a look in her eyes that made the meaning obvious. 'If you only you were nice boy instead of a girl.' "Don't let Glimmer lead you astray, alright?"

"Mom!" Glimmer rolled her eyes, elongating the word into two syllables. But she was being playful.

"I'll try not to," Adora said, seriously and it made Mrs Gongjunim laugh.

Glimmer took Adora's hand then, pulling her over to the staircase with a final "come _on._ "

 

So she let herself be led down the twisting stairs, trying not to think too much about Glimmers hand wrapped around hers. About  the glittery purple nail polish on her tan fingers next to Adora's bitten nails.

"I can't believe you talk to her like that," she said as they emerged into the basement. There was a huge, unmade waterbed held siege by a large collection of cuddly toys in one corner and the walls were so covered in posters and photos that she couldn't tell the colour underneath. Fairy lights hung from everywhere, like a cute decorations guide from Buzzfeed had vomited everywhere.

It was completely against Adora's taste in every way, and yet it was so completely Glimmer that it didn't make the bile ride in her throat like it should have. The room was charming, in its own way.

“Like what?” Glimmer asked. “It’s just banter, she knows I love her.”

Adora knew asking whether it was disrespectful or not would earn her some concerned looks. The kind of looks she got in middle school when she asked things like that. The ‘are you okay?’ looks and the ‘are things okay at home?’ questions teachers would ask. It was times like these when it was always better to change the subject.

"So - what are we going to study?"

"Oh, Adora," Bow smiled and shook his head. "Adora, Adora, Adora."

"What?"

"No, she's right, Bow. We are going to study."

"We are?"

"We're going to be studying the best Netflix has to offer. Stranger Things, Santa Clarita Diet and Sex Education.”

Bow punched the air. “Now that’s the kind of studying I’m up for!”

“But-“

“Adora.” Glimmer pressed a finger against Adora’s mouth and it worked immediately. “Just sit back and let us teach you, alright?”

Her stomach was attempting to do ten jumping jacks in a row and her face was burning. Glimmer was touching her – Glimmer was touching her _face_. Her mouth. So, she just nodded. That was how she found herself being pushed down onto the bed amongst a bunch of cushions and sat between Bow and Glimmer with a laptop in front of her.

Bow relaxed immediately, tucking himself under Glimmer’s blankets and resting a cushion behind his head. He was only half watching, half playing a game on his phone. Glimmer was too, leaning slightly against Adora, so that her hair prickled Adora’s cheek. They were shoulder to shoulder. If Adora shifted slightly, she would have her arm around Glimmer. Like a couple.

How could she concentrate on a screen when she was thinking about that? She tried to tune in to – whatever show was being put on – but she couldn’t think when Glimmer’s weight against her. Or the fact that Glimmer’s hair smelt of bubble gum.

It was also all a waste of time. She couldn’t understand why they were wasting time just sitting and watching a screen when there was work to be done. Adora _had_ to be doing work. Otherwise she wouldn’t be the best. She had to be the best.

The longer she sat there, the worse her stomach felt. It was as if she’d been tied into knots. It wasn’t just Glimmer – it was that this wasn’t a good use of her time. What would her foster mother say?

She wouldn’t be happy. She’d be furious. There would be rolling eyes and flashing teeth.

By the end of the first episode, she was tapping her foot against the blankets and her palms were damp. She wiped them on her jeans.

“Are you okay?” Glimmer finally pulled away from her – her arm felt cold without the weight.

"Yes," Adora lied, because she was always okay. She always had to be okay. But there was something about the look on Glimmers face that broke that resolve. Those lavender eyes she supposed. "No. I - I don't feel so good."

"Really? Are you okay?" Glimmer jumped off of the bed. "I've got paracetamol and ibuprofen."

"No, it's not-" Adora shook her head. "I think I'll just head home."

Glimmer blinked at her. Her face had fallen. She stared at Adora with disappointment on her features.

"Oh," she said. "Okay."

"Do you need someone to walk you home?" Bow asked, glancing up from his phone.

Adora shook her head. She couldn't make eye contact with either of them. Guilt was already swimming in her gut.

"Sorry. I'll just-" she was already heading back up the staircase, walking quickly across the hallway.

What was wrong with her? Why couldn't she sit and relax and have fun? Like a normal teenager? She hadn't even thought about it before. The fact she wasn't normal. She was a workaholic because she had to be. Because she had seen the marks on Catra's skin that she knew she would get if she wasn't. If she wasn't perfect there were consequences. That wasn't normal.

Apparently, normal was teasing jokes like a mother was just another friend. Apparently normal was being able to watch a show without feeling her skin crawl. Without her brain telling her that she was being useless.

Useless, useless, useless.

Imperfect.

And yet that was what Glimmer did and Glimmer was normal. Not perfect. Maybe perfect was overrated. Adora wanted to say perfect was overrated.

Every one of her instincts told her she was wrong.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Thank you for all of the positive feedback so far! I hope this was a good addition - I feel like this chapter starts to set up the larger image I had in mind when I first started writing this fic. I am a word slut so fitting everything into 10k was going to be impossible...  
> Beatrix was a name I found mentioned on the She Ra Wiki page for Shadow Weaver, so I went with it.  
> And Glimmer's last name is what google translate tells me Princess is in Korean. I headcanon Glimmer to look from around that area, so I thought it fit? I was going to use something else, because Angella looks quite white, and then I realised that she would have taken her husband's name and just - that's what I went with.  
> I also spelt mom the American way this chapter as, in case my general lack of knowledge of how things work in the US wasn't a big enough clue - I'm actually British. If there's any inconsistencies, let me know and I'll fix them.  
> Thanks so much for reading and I look forward to hearing what everyone thinks!  
> (Going to try and update weekly, but I have a load of coursework due so may not be able to for a few weeks.) xx


	4. 4

Adora had tried to come in without making a noise. She had pulled the door to slowly behind her so that it only just caught on the latch, slipping her trainers off with her toes so that she could pad upstairs without making a sound. Both Catra and Adora had long since figured out how to get around the house without making a noise.

She wasn't quiet enough.

"Adora? Is that you?"

That sent an alarm bell through her. Beatrix only had such sharp ears when she was on edge. Otherwise, it was easy to sneak around her.

"Uh, yeah." Adora started down the hall to find Beatrix sat at the dining room table, a salad in front of her for dinner.

"I thought you were out with Catra." Her tone was light and conversational, but she was probing.

She hadn't said that. She had said she was going around Lonnie's.

So Catra was out too. And had assumed Adora would cover for her. For a moment, she considered getting her own back for the night of the game.

She couldn't do that.

"Yeah, I didn't feel too good, so I came home. She's met up with a few of the girls from the team." Taken out of context, the first part wasn't a lie.

"Oh, sweetheart, what's wrong?" Beatrix was up in the next moment, a hand against Adora's forehead. "Have you taken painkillers? Do you want me to make a hot water bottle up for you?"

"I'm okay now," Adora said quickly. She was backstepping and wondering why she wanted to avoid those hands. They were cold, but the house was cold. Everything was cold here. "I was just going to get some work done."

"You're not doing work if you don't feel well." Beatrix was taking her wrist, pulling her into the living room and sitting her on the sofa. Adora remained limp. She had tried to resist this mollycoddling before and knew that Beatrix's fingers could close like a bony shackle and hold her fast. "Though Catra should have come home with you."

"I didn't want to drag her home."

"It's your responsibility to take care of her, Adora." Beatrix was pulling the stray hair away from Adora's face. "She's not like you, she'll get into all sorts of trouble."

"We're the same age." Adora tried to keep her tone gentle. They were approaching thin ice and she didn't want to fall through to the freezing cold waters underneath. "Catra can handle herself."

There was a sharp yank on her ponytail before she could even gasp. There were the eyes again - eyes like a demon - inches from her face.

"Will you say that when she ends up passed out on the street? In the hospital? Dead?" her foster-mother snarled. The pain of her nails in her hair made Adora's eyes water. "The two of you think you can go around and do anything and neither of you think of what might happen to you? Neither of you think of me! I slave away to make you both large, healthy dinners every night and then both of you turn around and spit in my face! Going out and eating elsewhere and leaving me on my own! Selfish!"

Adora was finally released, her head jerking forward so hard it almost hit her knees. She couldn't catch her breath for a moment, especially not with Beatrix's shadow looming over her. Waiting for a response.

"I'll make something," Adora managed to gasp out. "And I'll have dinner with you. I'm sorry."

"Oh, Adora." There were those hands again - gentle now. Like when she used to soothe her from nightmares. "That's all I ask."

Adora shoved a frozen pizza in the oven and tapped her feet on the bottom of the kitchen stool as she waited for it. She listened to her foster mother talk endlessly about her day and nodded in all the right parts.

She got the pizza out, managed to rattle off the parts of school that would be approved of. Test scores and coursework and praise given by her teachers. How well training was going.

Nothing about Glimmer.

Glimmer's house had been warm. She only realised when she opened the oven and was greeted by a blast of warm air. Their house had been warm and Glimmer had warm hands. They wouldn't have to bundle up in multiple socks and jumpers and shiver all the way through winter because it wasn't cold enough to justify the central heating.

She wondered what dinner there would have been like. Sat around the table with Glimmers glamorous mother. Probably not a homemade stew or soup. Probably the kind of pre-made party food that was advertised around Christmas. Tiger prawns and mini quiches. It would probably be loud. Probably involved Bow and Glimmer teasing each other relentlessly and Glimmer's mum joining in.

The thought out her off her pizza. She managed to make up an upcoming Spanish test and slunk upstairs.

Adora had every intention to finally study. She pulled out her books and sat down on her bed to read them.

The next thing she knew was Catra's voice in her ear and her shoulder being shaken.

"Catra!" she jerked away, raising a hand to her face to protect herself.

Catra pulled it down. "Sssh! Don't want to wake the sleeping dragon."

"Did you climb through my window?" Adora hissed.

"Yeah? You're right above the garage. I do it all the time."

"I'm sleeping in here Catra."

"And I've never woken you."

"That's creepy."

Catra shrugged. It was the movement that sent the smell to Adora's nose.

"Have you been smoking?"

"I'm not telling you that."

"Why not? We tell each other everything."

"Because you'll tell Beatrix."

"I won't. Promise."

Catra sighed and Adora saw her roll her eyes in the dark. She caught the smell again. Stronger this time.

"Lonnie has this friend, Rogelio, he brought a joint."

"A _joint_?!"

"Oh, relax. There was only enough for like, two drags each."

"It smells like more."

"Well, weed smells." Catra shoved some of the books out of the way, plopping herself onto Adora's bed. "She covered for you, by the way."

"What?"

"Lonnie covered for you. Beatrix phoned her, no idea how she got her number, but she covered for you."

"I covered for you too."

"So where were you?"

"With a friend."

"All your friends are my friends, Adora."

Something about the way she said it made it sting.

"Not these ones."

"Who?" Catra waited for a response, then leant back. “No, wait – I know. That Bow kid.”

“What are you talking about?” Adora forced a laugh that wasn’t convincing.

“You mentioned them the other day – didn’t even know they were on your radar.” Catra grinned and her teeth flashed like fangs in the moonlight. “God, Beatrix will be _pissed_ if she found out you were hanging out with a fag and a dyke.”

"Shut up, Catra."

"They're just so - nothing like you at all. Like everything that people hate about sjws all rolled into one."

"I said _shut up_!" Adora snapped.

Catra paused. She looked at her, toying with her bottom lip with her teeth. The motion made Adora's stomach jump.

"Just remember, Adora, they're not the ones who have your back on the field."

And with that, Catra slinked from her room. Adora glared after her, then through a punch into her pillow. She wasn't even sure why she was so angry.

She hated Catra when she was like this. She hated her foster mother when she was like this.

But she hated herself most of all.

*

Glimmer didn't act like nothing had happened. The team always carried on as usual, but not Glimmer.

No she had to run to Adora in the middle of the hallway, keychain on her bag jingling loudly enough to attract everyone around that's attention.

"Are you feeling any better?" She asked.

People were looking. Lonnie slammed her locker closed, turning dark eyes onto Adora.

"You can't do this," Adora said. "Not here."

"Be your friend?" Glimmer smiled, but it dropped at the expression on Adora's face.

"The team-"

"Can't know that we're friends," Glimmer finished. Her eyes hardened and her jaw set.  "Fine. Will I be giving you a lift home today, sir knight?"

"Glimmer," Adora wasn't even saying her name, it just came out as she exhaled.

"Find your own ride, Adora." Glimmer pushed past her, pulling her oversized cardigan around her.

 She opened her mouth – even though she had no idea what she was going to say. She ended up just staring after Glimmer as she stopped and greeted Bow. She still had a face like thunder and the two of them glanced back at her. Adora turned her back, pushing hair away from her face and waiting for Lonnie to catch up with her.

“What’s that about?” Lonnie asked.

Adora wasn’t good at lying. “Nothing.”

“Yeah, didn’t seem like nothing.” Lonnie crossed her arms, shifting her weight as she looked after Glimmer. “Didn’t she hug you at the game the other day?”

“What? No!”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t forget that hair anywhere,” Lonnie said. She scoffed, and raised her voice as they walked past. “I mean, _honestly_ , pink hair with a red uniform? And they call me a fashion disaster.”

Adora couldn’t help it, she glanced back. Just in time to see Glimmer’s face crumple as she turned away, facing Bow. Her eyes caught on the hairs sticking up at the nape of her neck – they were undyed. What would Glimmer look like with brown hair? She didn’t want to know. That would be too boring. Too normal.

Too much like her.

“I think it’s-“

“You hugged her at the match.”

“Did someone knock you over, or something?”

“What are you bitches talking about?” Catra’s arms hooked around Adora and Lonnie’s necks and she looked at both of them. There was a strong smell around her that Adora tried to ignore.

“Just wondering why Adora’s so pally with pinky.” It seemed as though Lonnie was leaning into Catra’s touch, smiling up at her.

“I’m not,” Adora snapped. She caught herself. “I’m – I’m not, okay?”

“And yet you keep getting into her junkyard bait of a car.” Catra had the smile that she wore when she was getting other people into trouble.

Adora ducked out from under her arm. “Get fucked, Catra.”

She felt like the teen in a movie with a secret that made them touchy – shit, she was a teenager with a secret that made her touchy. She didn’t want to talk about Glimmer. Talking about Glimmer would make it real. It would force her to acknowledge things. Things that were changing. She wouldn’t be able to have the football team and Glimmer and Bow. There was always going to be a choice from day one. And she knew the choice. The choice that was safe and –

Straight.

The longer she stayed with Glimmer and Bow the more she was wrapped up in believing that it would be okay. That she would be able to come out one day. That was a dangerous thought. Bow and Glimmer were the dangerous choice.

But they were also the happy choice.

She wasn’t surprised that she couldn’t find Glimmer after training. That her car was already gone from the parking lot. Adora deserved that. She deserved to be completely ignored and never spoken to again.

The surprise was that Bow was leaning against her cruiser, his phone in his hand. A rose gold charm hung from it. A tiny heart and a tiny arrow.

“Uh, what are you doing?”

Bow looked up then and spoke completely casually. “Waiting for you.”

“Come to drag me across the coals?”

“For a lift, actually.”

“What?”

“Oh, right – manners.” Bow cleared his throat, drawing his shoulders back and puffing his chest up. “Adora, may I please have a lift in your, might I say, beautiful car?” He paused a moment, then stroked the top of it. “I must say, you have chosen a spiffing colour, my dear lady.”

Adora found herself laughing – against every feeling she had in the last twenty four hours, she was laughing.

“Just get in, you dork.”

Bow did, flashing her a very shiny grin and climbing up into the passengers seat. She tossed her bags into the back and settled herself behind the wheel.

“So, you really didn’t come to give me a bullocking?” she asked, reversing out of the parking space.

“You mean about the whole ‘we can only be friends in secret’ thing?”

“Mm.”

“I can’t blame you. I wouldn’t have the guts to stand up to the football team either. Those girls are _mean_.”

“Are you saying I’m a coward?” She swung onto the main road with more force than she should have.

“I would never. Like I said, you girls are _mean_.” Bow gave a dramatic shiver. “I would imply it, though.”

“I’m not a coward.”

“Oh no?”

“No.”

"And yet you couldn't stand up for Glimmer..." Bow tapped his fingers on the dashboard.

"What did you want me to say? That - that I like her hair?" Adora's hands were shakin and she gripped the steering wheel tighter. "That it's cute and fluffy like a cloud and she looks like some kind of angel? Yeah, no. That's not - that's-"

"Pretty, gay, Adora."

"Oh, says the guy who _is_ gay."

"I know it when I see it."

"I'm not." Adora gave a huff-laugh. It sounded panicky. "I'm not gay."

"No, of course not." For a moment Bow sounded genuine, then he smiled. "But if you were, you'd be into Glimmer."

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to," Bow paused. "How long have you known?"

Adora sighed. Her key was swaying from where it was lodged in the car and it was distracting.

"A while. Since I realised the perks of playing football."

Bow nodded. He stared out the window for a moment, then fixed dark eyes on Adora.

"Park round the back of my house. We need to talk."

"That doesn't sound ominous."

"Oh, that was the aim." Bow still sounded cheery, and it put Adora's teeth on edge. But she still did as she was asked, following Bow’s rather awful instructions around to Glimmer’s neighbourhood. He really did live just down the road from her. And Bow’s house had a white picket fence – because of course it did. That was how perfect a neighbourhood he came from. Adora parked and leant back in the car, wondering what she was supposed to see.

“Give it a moment, they’re always out at this time,” Bow said, checking his watch. He continued to tap at the dashboard and Adora continued to watch. There was a horrible twisted feeling in her stomach.

Then the back door of Bow’s house opened and, through the fence, Adora could see two men coming out from the house. One had his arm around the other’s shoulder’s and they were both laughing about something.

“Those are my dads,” Bow said.

Adora heard herself give a sharp sigh. “I’m not against – I’m not homophobic. I don’t have a problem with-“

“That’s not what I was thinking.” Bow leant back, watching the pair sit at the garden table with a couple of ciders, still looking at each other like the other one was a rare treasure. “I was thinking that someone you know wouldn’t approve if they knew?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Okay.” Bow had one hand on the door handle. “I guess I’ll see you at school?”

He had one foot out of the car when Adora said it – she wasn’t sure why.  She wasn’t sure why she trusted Bow with this.

“My mom.”

Bow slid back into the car, without a word.

“I mean, my foster mom. She – being gay, that’s not – it doesn’t fit with her image of the perfect daughter. And I am. At least, I was. But now I’m – I’m hanging out with people she despises and not – not studying and I’m not what she wants me to be.”

Bow stayed staring at her for a long time, but she didn’t look at him. She kept her eyes focused on Bow’s dads. They were talking, leaning towards each other. Looking at each other like the other was perfect.

“My dads didn’t get it,” Bow finally said. “Ironic, right? But I just thought they wouldn’t understand the whole trans thing. For years I was _terrified_ to tell them – I was going by Bow for ages before – before Glimmer helped me get the courage up to – to tell them who I really was. And they were…fine. They loved me no matter what.”

“That’s great, Bow.” Adora’s voice cracked. “I’m really glad that it’s worked out for you.”

“What I’m saying is – you probably have nothing to worry about. Whatever she wants you to be, she’ll love you anyway.”

Adora was smiling, but it was forced, fixed and nostalgic.

“I don’t think so. She’s not-“

“You never know. People surprise you.”

“No. No, you don’t know what she’s like.” She could still feel the ache on the back of her head. She took a long breath out. “Do me a favour and not tell Glimmer any of this?”

“Oh, of course not. As long as you don’t tell her that she was the kick I needed to come out to my parents.”

“Sure thing.”

Bow climbed out of the car, but kept a hand on the roof as he leant to see in.

“I did tell Glimmer I wouldn’t say anything,” he said. “But for the record, if you were gay, there’s a strong chance she’d be into you.”

“Yeah, right.”

Bow shrugged and closed the car door. He unlatched the gate and gave a final wave to Adora. She hadn’t moved. Her brain was struggling to process any of this conversation. Any of what she’d just admitted.  She just stared ahead of her, feeling like a blown fuse and only blinked herself back to reality when Bow waved before going into the gate.

Then she drove home.

Glimmer stubbornly ignored her the next day. Adora noticed that her voice was a little too loud and her laugh just a little too long. She was being punished she knew. There had been a test of her loyalties and she had failed. But why was that a fail? A fail implied she had gotten it wrong.

Did she want to get it right?

The thought was enough to almost send her stumbling in practice again. She was feeling things more now – the thud of the ground under her feet and the bash of the ball against her skin. If she didn’t know better, she would assume that Catra was actually _trying_ to hurt her.

Bow was outside her car again when she had finished getting changed. She felt completely exhausted, and didn’t acknowledge him as she climbed in to the driver’s side.

“So, your mom hates the gays.”

“Pink hair too.”

“And what’s your opinion of pink hair, Adora?”

“Get fucked.” But she was smiling despite herself. Then she sighed. “I want to still hang out with you and Glimmer. I really do, it’s just-“

“The football team.”

“Would you stop finishing my sentences?”

“It’s a gift,” Bow said. “It comes right down to what it did a few weeks ago, doesn’t it? The team.”

“They’re my friends. My family.”

“And they hate that you aren’t like them. That you might want to hang out with the freaks and the weirdos.”

“You aren’t freaks, or weirdos.” Adora beeped the person in front of her. They were driving too slow for her liking and she was running out of patience. “You’re great fun and you’re happy and I enjoy your company.”

“Then what does it matter what Catra thinks?”

“It’s easy for you. You’ve clearly never cared what anyone thinks.”

“Oh, I used to.” Bow rolled down the window, resting his elbow on it. “But then I decided it was much more fun to annoy everyone by just existing.”

“And that takes guts. More guts than I have.”

“Really, Adora?” Bow was smiling when he looked at her. “You can fearlessly charge into seven foot giants, but you can’t stand up for yourself?”

“That’s different. That’s…”

“Easy?”

“How do you do that?”

“I’m good with people.”

Adora laughed. Which made Bow laugh. She turned up the radio and let him dance along to the songs because she was done being serious for one day. Done thinking in general.

She drove home, turning the radio off and instead trying desperately to remember the Disney songs that Glimmer always used to sing. She didn't have any cds in the car, but now she wished she did.

Catra was on the end of her bed, still in her track shorts and t-shirt with sweat stains down it.

"You're disgusting," Adora dumped her bag at the door. Normally she would sit on the bed, but something made her pause. "Go take a shower."

"Hey Adora," Catra smiled. "Not with your little friends today?"

"I dropped Bow off at his house.”

“Glitter’s still not speaking to you?” Catra examined her nails, tapping her foot.

“It’s Glimmer.”

“Yet, she left _glitter_ in your car.”

“Are you here for any reason, Catra?”

Catra stood, taking her time as she stalked over to Adora. She swayed her hips and Adora forced her eyes away from the movement, swallowing heavily. She felt her cheeks warm and hated that.

“I just wanted to know,” Catra said. “Why this all came about.”

“What do you mean?”

“You hate me now.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“Don’t you?” Catra shook her head. “You don’t hang out with us anymore. You don’t speak to us anymore.”

“Because you all act like bitches for no reason!” Adora said. Her voice broke. “What the hell did Bow do to you that made you hate him? What the hell did Glimmer do?”

“Right now they’re taking my best friend away!”

“Don’t be so childish! Just because they’re not you, Catra.”

“They’re not you either, Adora.” Catra’s lip quirked into a snarl and she was close to Adora. Close enough to smell the sweat still on her skin. “They’re nothing like you.”

“Maybe they’re not,” Adora said. “But at least they’re not bitches.”

Catra’s eyes narrowed. It looked as though she was bearing her teeth at Adora. She pushed past her, hard enough to nudge her back into the corridor, without saying a word.

Adora regretted it instantly. She hadn’t meant to take it that far. Hadn’t meant to be so cutting. She hadn’t meant to ignite that hatred in Catra’s arms. But it had just scared her. It had scared her because they were something like Adora. They were the something like Adora that she wanted to be.

It felt as though they had crossed a threshold of no return. Even if she went back to hanging out with the football team – even if she tried to make everything go back to normal, it couldn’t.

And she wasn’t sure she wanted it to. Now she had taken that first step, she didn’t want to go back to normal. To biting her tongue and turning a blind eye. To hiding in the closet. To pretending that Glimmer wasn’t her friend.

Glimmer was her friend and she was clever and happy and –

Beautiful.

Adora had called her beautiful and she had meant it. She didn’t want to cut Glimmer out of her life. She wanted to be her friend. To be friends. To be happy.

But Glimmer didn’t forgive easily and that was something that Adora knew all too well.  No, it would take something else – something big to show her that Adora had changed her mind. That she had changed it and meant it.

She sat down at her desk and put her head in her hands. Her stomach was still in knots about Catra, but Catra was Catra and she moved on easily. Catra blew hot and cold like a cat without the arguments. Glimmer – Glimmer was what she focused on.

It might just have been the first time she had come home from school and hadn’t done work. Instead, she wracked her brains for some grand gesture, thinking back on all the conversations her, Bow and Glimmer had.

Then it came to her and she smiled.

Adora had a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Slightly shorter chapter because I didn't want to get into a scene I have planned JUST yet. Hopefully it shall be GOOD and we'll get out of this angst train for a little while...  
> Hope this lived up to your expectations and let me know what you're thinking down in the comments!  
> (Also, I had no idea that the next season of She-Ra dropped last week? Was anyone going to tell me or was I just supposed to find out about Bow's beautiful dads by myself? But seriously, I watched it in like two days and am still loving it SO much. We STAN Noelle Stevenson. If you like, leave your thoughts of season 2 in the comments and I can tell someone other than my disinterested housemates about it!) xx


	5. 5

5

Adora revelled the in the feeling of the ground underneath her boots. Of kicking up mud and grass with her feet. Of pumping her legs as fast as they could go and of feeling herself flying across the football pitch.

Of that swooping feeling in her stomach as she threw the ball in her arms and it soared over the goal post. Knowing that they were winning – they were crushing the other team, because of course they were – they were the horde.

And when the bell rang for full time they had won. A complete and utter victory and the girls were jumping on each other like excited teenage boys. Adora slipped away, pulled her helmet off and grabbed one of the megaphones from under the bleachers.

“Obviously it’s great that we won!” she yelled and realised everyone was watching her. When she was playing, she didn’t think about it. There was her and the game and that was it. Now there were eyes on her and it made her heart race. Made her knees shake and her hands shake on the megaphone. “But – uh – I’d also – I want to thank the band!” There was silence. She felt Lonnie and Catra glaring at her from behind. “They’re – you know, they work really hard and they do a good job and – especially the girl who plays the gold trumpet thing-”

“Trombone!” Bow’s voice yelled from the bleachers. Thank fuck for that boy and his mind-reading.

“Trombone! Thank you! Yeah – thanks, guys!”

It was not how she wanted it to go. Not how she had planned it out last night, going over and over the words in her head.

She just awkwardly handed the megaphone back to the guy in the front row, a sweaty blonde kid that she had seen hanging around Lonnie lately. Then she nodded and took a few steps back on her own momentum.

There was a pause – an agonising pause – then the celebrations continued. Adora just smiled and nodded again – wanting nothing more than to shrivel up and die. She couldn’t even look at the bandstand, she was already crossing the pitch to the showers.

“What the fuck, Adora?” Catra grabbed hold of her elbow, pulling her around. Her hair was even messier than it normally was.

“Just thought I’d say,” she said, pulling her arm away.

Actually, Adora thought she’d made things worse. She showered – actually showered and changed into a spare pair of jeans and a fresh t-shirt. She was just towelling off her hair when she noticed someone else in the changing room. Someone sat with her back to her, in a top that showed off her shoulder blades.

With pink hair.

Pink, spiky hair.

“What was that meant to prove?”

“It  was – it was only part one of me seeing that I’m a huge dumbass.” Adora said.

Glimmer snorted. She turned slightly, smiling.

“A huge dumbass?”

“Don’t make me say it again.”

“Would that ruin your cool girl image?”

“Hey, my cool girl image is everything to me.” Adora shrugged. Then she shook her head. “No – no, that was a joke. That was-“ Glimmer raised an eyebrow at her, clearly wondering if Adora was suffering from some kind of aneurysm. She ran a hand through still damp hair. “It never really was – it was – I always felt comfortable just fitting in. Everyone had their ideas about me and I fitted them. But – now, I – I want happy.”

Glimmer paused. She looked confused – utterly confused and Adora realised that she had just garbled out words without explanation.

“I mean – I’m happy when I’m with you. And Bow.” Adora lowered her voice when she added, “mostly you.” She continued, still rubbing at her hair with the towel and feeling her cheeks heat as though she was still standing under the boiling hot water. “And I want to be happy. I don’t just want to – to go along with everyone’s image of me. So, I guess, um, I’m asking to go wherever the band go for fries and shakes because I want to. I really want to.”

“You want to go out for fries and shakes?” Glimmer asked, putting her hands on her hips and shifting her weight. She was still wearing her band skirt, and it flared out like flower petals from around her waist.

“Yes.”

“With wet hair?”

“Oh?” Adora’s hand went to her head. “Fuck, I hadn’t thought-“

Glimmer laughed. “Honestly, you were in there for so long that I thought you were trying to drown yourself after that announcement. Are you always that awkward?”

“I don’t do well with public speaking,” Adora said. But then she smiled, leaving the towel around her shoulders. “But I did get your attention.”

“Oh, you got everyone’s attention. No hiding the fact that you’re a band geek at heart now, miss quarterback.”

Adora’s heart leapt at that. For a brief moment, she considered changing her name permanently to ‘miss quarterback,’ just to hear it come out of Glimmer’s mouth. She knew she was smiling like an idiot – too obviously.

But Glimmer didn’t seem to notice, she was growing serious again, like she was scolding a puppy.

“You really mean that you want to hang out with us?”

“Yeah.”

“At school?”

“At school.”

“And what about Catra?”

The names she’d called Bow and Glimmer popped up in Adora’s mind. The way she had looked at Adora when she had figured it out. She couldn’t help it – “Fuck Catra.”

“Isn’t she your sister?”

“Yeah, but-” Adora tugged at the towel like it would give her answers. “Lately she hasn’t been so sisterly.”

Glimmer stayed looking at her a moment longer. Those lavender eyes trying to find out what Adora was thinking – read her like a book. She could read some of it, at least – the earnest part and the part about being friends.

Not the part about how Adora could see the edge of Glimmer’s bra strap under the back t-shirt. Not the part about how she would happily watch Glimmer talk and laugh and do literally nothing and still be over the moon.

Not the gay part.

“We can still do fries and shakes,” Glimmer said. “But we’ll do drive through.”

“That’s probably a smart idea.”

“I’m not just a pretty face.” Glimmer said and smiled, sending those eyes twinkling. She took Adora’s hand, slipping her fingers into hers like it was no big deal and starting out of the changing rooms. “Come on.”

So Adora did, incredibly relieved that for once she had showered. For once, she didn’t stick of sweat and for once she wasn’t covered in it. Now she just had to make sure that her hands didn’t grow clammy.

What did this even mean? This touching? Did friends hold hands. Adora was sure they did – that it was normal – but she didn’t normally hold hands with her friends. Was that just a football thing? Was she doing friendship wrong?

The questions swarmed around her head like she’d just whacked a hornets nest, so she almost didn’t notice her name being called as they walked into the parking lot. Then she looked up, and saw Lonnie hanging out the roof of her car.

“Adora! Get over here!” she paused as she saw Glimmer at her side, then frowned. “You weren’t serious about that band shit, were you?”

Glimmer squeezed Adora’s hand – as if she was scared she would let go. She probably expected her to let go. Adora took a breath and kept hold. It was easier to be brave when she knew Glimmer was on her side.

“Yeah, kinda,” she replied. It wasn’t as strong as she would have liked, but she also liked Lonnie and didn’t want to burn all of her bridges. “I got wet hair, so I’ll catch up with you later!”

“Where you going now?”

“Stopping off at Maccies on the way home!”

Adora was climbing into Glimmer’s car. She wasn’t about to acknowledge that to the team – not when Catra’s eyes were basically glowing in the darkness. Livid. Her face was livid.

Glimmer gave a laugh that sounded incredibly relieved as she started up the engine. Like she was trying to diffuse awkwardness.

“Just stopping off, huh?”

“Hey, I’m trying my best.”

“Proud of you.” Glimmer’s voice was still sarcastic, but there was a hint of genuinity in her voice.

Adora was the one who reached for the radio, switched it to CD and turned it up. She knew Glimmers car as well as her own now and she smiled as she heard the familiar mix of musicals.

“So,” Glimmer said, she paused as they went through a roundabout, turning so hard Adora slammed into the car door. “Another win for the Horde, huh?”

“Another win. This is gunna be our season.” Adora grinned. “We’re gunna win this whole thing.”

“Like you do every year?”

“Winning doesn’t get old.”

Glimmer laughed. “Winning is everything, huh?”

Winning is perfect.

"I guess." She heard it in her voice. A strange crack that she tried to cover up by clearing her throat.

It made Glimmer pause. They were close to the McDonald's now - Adora could see the golden arches.

"When was the last time you lost?"

"Don't remember." Yes, she did. She remembered. It was still in middle school, when they were playing a watered down version of the game. When she and Catra played netball and soccer and tennis.

When her coach had told them it was just a game and Catra had spat it back at Beatrix when she snapped at them.

They hadn't eaten that night. Hadn't been allowed to back to tennis because their attention was divided.

Glimmer was still looking at her out of the corner of her eye, but they were pulling into the drive through and a voice was asking what their order was.

Of course Glimmer asked for strawberry. And of course Adora asked for vanilla.

"So where to?" Adora asked, when Glimmer had pulled the paper bag into the car and handed it to Adora. The chips were warm on her lap.

"Nowhere, really," Glimmer was swinging back into the entrance to the leisure centre the MacDonalds sat in. She continued through to the parking lot, climbing each ramp until they were on the top floor, looking over the small collection of lights that made up the city. The forest made a dark shadow against the indigo sky.

It was like a teen movie. Adora's life was becoming a teen movie and she couldn't understand it.

There weren't any teen movies with two girls.

"Is this where I'm supposed to say it's beautiful?" she asked, sharing out the drinks and fries.

Glimmer laughed, twisting the straw of her milkshake around.

"Am I your manic pixie dream girl?"

Adora paused. It felt as though time had been suspended - as though her heart had stopped beating for a moment.

Of course it hadn't. Of course, in reality, she had hesitated.

And Glimmer had noticed. She bite her lip and looked out of the window, because suddenly there was tension that could be cut through with a knife.

Adora took a large sip of her milkshake - large enough to make her head and throat sore with brain freeze.

"Isn't your mum going to be worried about you?" Adora changed the subject.

"I texted her that I was hanging out with you and Bow."

"Bow's not here."

"I know," Glimmer paused, examining a limp fry between her fingers. "If she knew it was just us, she would turn it into something it's not."

Adora was desperate to ask. What was it not? She needed to hear the answer from Glimmer’s mouth. But at the same time, she knew it would hurt.

So she kept her mouth shut.

"What about your mom - sorry - foster mom."

"Mom is fine."

"I didn't know if..."

"If I was like some poor orphan in a Victorian novel raised by a evil stepmother I will never accept as a maternal figure?"

"Something like that," Glimmer muttered.

"I never knew my parents - never even went into care, really. Me and Catra have been with Beatrix since we were babies," Adora said. "How could I not think of her as my mom?"

There was quiet for a moment. Adora wondered if Glimmer was going to object - start an argument.

But instead she asked "so does she know you're here?"

"I told her I'm out with a friend."

She hadn't. She knew if she pulled out her phone there was a good chance that there would be a call coming through. She had put it on silent. Beatrix could scream but she wouldn't be able to break through the screen and ruin this. She'd deal with the fallout when she got home.

"I can't meet the parents yet?"

"It's not that - she-" hates pink hair. Hates drinking. Hates gay. Hates less than perfect."She worries. Gets all panicky if I leave Catra alone. If I hang out with new people."

"If you leave Catra alone?"

"She tends to get into trouble." Adora was reaching the end of her milkshake with all the sips she was taking to delay answering. This was close. This was too close to home. "You lied to your mom, okay? I'm allowed to lie to mine."

Glimmer laughed, but it faded too quickly for Adora's liking. She drummed her fingers on the dashboard, purple glitter nail polish catching the moonlight. The tiny stars of the city didn't compare to the stars in the nail polish.

Adora's stare was noticed. Glimmer pulled her fingers away from the dash self-consciously, instead eating the rest of her fries.

They sat in silence, but it was a comfortable silence. A silence where they could watch lights flickering on and off like someone fiddling with switches on a model. The radio hummed songs out quietly between them - saying that the best that they could do if they got caught between the moon and New York City was to fall in love.

Adora ignored it. Glimmer did too.

It seemed a long time before Glimmer finally turned the keys in the engine again.

"Well," she said. "I guess we should be getting home."

"I guess."

"We can't stay out here all night." Glimmer pulled out of the parking space. "I slept in a car once before and it was the most miserable night of my life."

Glimmer's most miserable night included a car and bad weather.

Adora's included screaming and crying and crawling into Catra's bed to hold her as she shook. No questions asked. No acknowledgement that it happened.

"When did you spend a night in a car?"

"The student council wanted to get pissed in a field. I opted to sleep in my car. Big mistake."

"What's the appeal of getting pissed in a field."

Glimmer glanced at her sideways. "I'll show you sometime."

Adora smiled. She couldn't help it. A thrill ran through her at the thought.

"I'd like that."

She'd like that a lot.

*

Sneaking in was worse than just coming in late. Sneaking in meant that Beatrix would still be calling whilst she was upstairs in bed. She had already phoned six times and had left a string of texts that got increasingly urgent.

It was the kind of bullet you just had to bite.

"Is Catra with you?" was the first question she was asked. Beatrix was worrying away at her fingers in the living room.

Adora hated that it sent a rush of relief through her. She wasn't the one in the dog house.

"No - no, she must still be out with the girls."

"Call her, will you? She won't answer me and she's down by the river."

Adora's hand paused on her phone.

"How do you know that?" she asked quietly.

"Its an app. So I can make sure the two of you are safe. Call her, Adora, you know how much she hates the water."

Adora did know. She was the one who got hit by Catra's flailing limbs at their swimming lessons.

So there was no way Catra was in the river.

"You have an app that tracks us?" Adora stared at the dark hair, covering a pale face and leaking over pale hands.

"Every parent should know where their child is." Beatrix stood, took Adora's shoulders so tightly that her fingers dug in. "Call. Catra."

So Adora did.

It took Catra a while to answer.

"Hey, Adora." Catra sounded as if she was purring down the phone. "Got bored of your new friends already?"

"Catra, where are you?"

"Oh, I didn't think you cared." Catra was slurring her words and it made Adora's stomach drop.

Beatrix's eyes were boring into her. She couldn't look up.

She whispered as quietly as she could, "Catra, are you drunk?"

Beatrix heard. The phone was out of Adora's hand in the next instant.

The line went dead as soon as Beatrix started speaking.

She threw the phone. So hard that Adora was sure it would have cracked on the threadbare carpet. It made her swallow, try to breathe, keep looking at the carpet as if it would make her invisible.

"Why weren't you with her?" Beatrix hissed.

"I didn't want to. I didn't want to get drunk." She was lying. She was desperate to know what drunk felt like.

"Did you know she would be drinking?" Beatrix had stepped closer. Close enough to make Adora's hands tremble.

"No - no." Adora shook her head, clenching her fists. She didn't want to say it, but there was something about Beatrix that always made her say it. Something about the tightness in her chest that forced the words out. "But I knew she had been."

"And you didn't stop her?" There was a quiet fury behind the words.

"I can't say no to Catra." Adora whispered.

She felt a cold finger on her cheek. Hadn't even realised she had been crying, but Beatrix was wiping away a tear. It had softened her expression. Turned her from monster to mother.

"Oh, Adora, I know." Beatrix was cradling both of her cheeks now, as if she was taking hold of a precious jewel. "Catra is a natural born troublemaker. Not like you."

Adora let her head be tilted down, let Beatrix kiss her forehead. This was not the storm. This had been what the calm before it had been like. Sitting in front of the sofa whilst Beatrix plaited her hair. Treated it like gold instead of tugging it.

It was how Adora had wanted it to go back to. It made her remember that she loved Beatrix. That she was still her mom and she still loved them. She was human.

She was human but she had an app that told her exactly where Adora was. An app that told her Adora had been going to (!!) and (!!) and that she had been sat in a parking lot for the last hour and a half. That wasn't good. That was an invasion of privacy.

But Beatrix had said all mothers did it.

She would have to ask Glimmer.

She didn't want to. A part of her knew the answer - that it wasn't right. But what was she supposed to do about that? She couldn't change anything.

Beatrix was Beatrix and nothing would change that.

Her phone was still on the floor. Untouched. She snuck it to her with her foot and sat on it whilst Beatrix finished plaiting it. Adora hated her hair in a brand. She used to love it, but now it just made her look more like an egg than ever.

But then she could make an excuse. Then she could dart upstairs and pull her phone from her pocket. The screen was cracked, a black cloud on the inside of the screen.

And when she reached her room, she found a text from Glimmer. A 'hope you didn't get murdered by your mum' message followed up with a monkey emoji covering its mouth.

Adora wanted to say something witty. Something witty and funny that would make Glimmer smile at her phone. Instead, it was all she could do to reply 'hope you didn't either,' before she was loading up Catra and typing out just how pissed Beatrix was at her.

Catra replied with a string of shrugging emojis and a 'guess I'm coming through your window tonight.'

The thought crossed Adora's mind that she could simply lock the window. Then Catra wouldn't be able to get in. But Catra was her sister. That came first.

It didn't stop her from pretending to be asleep when she heard her window open. She had slid her phone under her pillow, the latest text from Glimmer lighting up her screen.

Catra barely made a sound when she clambered through. Adora held her breath, assuming Catra would just pad doubtlessly through the room.

She didn't. Instead she stepped over to Adora's bed, leant by her ear with breath that smelt like beer.

"Hey, Adora," she whispered, stirring the hair around Adora's ear. It made her stomach leap, but she stayed frozen. "Team's pretty pissed that you skipped out on us for a band geek."

She seemed to wait for a response. She didn't get one.

"Then again, it's been much more fun since you left. There was no way we would have drunk and smoked with you around. You're 'perfect Adora,' after all." Catra paused again. She seemed to believe that Adora was asleep, because with a feather light touch, pulled a stray hair off of Adora's cheek. Her face was close, so close Adora wondered if her lips were going to graze her cheek. "Perfect Adora."

Then Catra was gone and Adora's eyes were open.

That hadn't happened before. Catra had never called her that in such a low voice, either completely mocking her or completely affectionate. Adora couldn't figure it out. She couldn't figure Catra out. They weren't touchy-feelly people. They weren't the kind of people who braided each other's hair.

Yet Catra had touched her. Like that.

She didn't reply to Glimmer.

She barely slept. Then brought a huge mug of coffee in for Catra at two in the afternoon. It still woke her, but she accepted the mug from Adora's hands and sat bundled in her duvet. Only her eyes peeked out from beneath a mass of hair.

Nothing had happened. Nothing had happened that Adora would admit, anyway.

"Hanging?"

"What do you think?"

"I don't have any sympathy." Adora held her hands in the air. "You decided to get drunk."

"It felt great last night. It felt like flying. It felt like nothing could touch me."

"You haven't seen Beatrix yet?"

"Have I, fuck."

Adora pulled her foot underneath her as she sat on the bed. It had changed. As much as she hasn't wanted it to, something had changed. She just couldn't figure out what.

"She has a tracking app. On her phone."

"Fuck that."

"It said you were in the river."

"We went down to the waterfront, yeah. Sat under one of the trees with a crate. We made a small fire at one point, almost set the whole place aflame."

"I'm sorry I missed it."

"You wouldn't have liked it." Catra took a large gulp of coffee, the light returning to her eyes. Mismatched eyes, they had used to say. Catra had heterochromia - one brown eye, one blue. They always attracted attention, people staring at her for just a little longer when they first noticed. They were pretty eyes.

Catra was pretty.

"Maybe I would," Adora forced herself to reply. She would, she thought, if she wouldn't have to worry about Catra. About getting home. About studying. About making sure that Catra got home safe and thay Beatrix wasn't in a foul mood after.

She would if she was with Glimmer.

If she was with Glimmer of Bow, she could imagine wanting to get drunk. Enjoying getting drunk and having a good time.

Catra was looking at her as if she didn't believe her. She stared for a while longer, the asked, in a dry tone of voice, "don't you have studying to do?"

Adora did. Could have, if she wanted to get even further ahead.

She didn't want to. She didn't want to spend the weekend working. She wanted to try not working - to try beating the voices that told her she had to be productive every minute of the day. And there was only one person who would be able to help her do that.

Adora had sent the text before she had even left Catra’s room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter chapter but I feel like I hit all the beats I wanted to..  
> Also I have all of my coursework deadlines over the next two weeks so..  
> Hope you enjoyed! Thank you for all the lovely comments and hopefully see you next week! xx


	6. 6

6

Things had changed. But in some ways, they hadn’t changed at all, because Catra may barely be speaking to Adora, but that didn’t stop her from sitting in the passenger side of Adora’s car on Monday morning.

Adora didn’t say anything. Mainly because Beatrix was still peering out of the window and it was really none of her business what was happening at school. That was something that Catra and Adora had always managed – to lie about what was happening between them and what was happening at school. Kid drama never got taken to the adults. That meant trouble. So she kept her mouth shut and started driving.

There was a different atmosphere in the car. A tense, unsure how to step around each other atmosphere.

“You going to pinky’s again?” Catra asked. They were already halfway to school.

“Yes,” Adora said. “Probably. And don't call her that.”

“What?” Catra’s foot was up on the dash. It had never bothered Adora before. She had never allowed herself to look at just how tight Catra’s jeans were getting. “That's not the worst I could say - could call her a dy-“

“Don't. Catra. Do you even know how offensive that is?”

“Why do you even care?” She could sense narrowed eyes on her face and kept her eyes on the road, resisting not to beep the horn at the guy in front of them. He wasn’t even driving that slow. “If I didn't know better I'd say you were gay.”

Adora paused. She wanted to take the leap – because if she couldn’t trust _Catra,_ who could she trust? “What if I was?”

“You? Please. Pretty sure Beatrix wants you to marry a doctor, have two children - a boy and a girl, naturally and live happily ever after.” Catra crossed her legs over, looking out of the window again. Adora couldn’t see her face.

“Maybe I won't marry anyone.”

“Perfect Adora not doing what mummy says?”

“Are you telling me delinquent Catra is going to do what she does say? Are _you_ going to get married?” This was easier, Adora thought. This was teasing and banter and it was all surface level. That’s how it should be. Surface level – not deep, meaningful conversations with Bow.

Catra frowned at her, her bottom lip sticking out in a pout. “Touché.” She paused then, her eyes glancing over Adora’s face with sudden sincerity. “You’d tell me, if you were, wouldn't you?”

“You're my sister,” Adora said. “We tell each other everything.”

It wasn’t an outright lie. It had never been a lie, but it was fast becoming one.

Still, Adora reasoned to herself as she pulled into the school parking lot, Catra was being unfair too. Catra was hiding drinking and smoking and who knew what else from Adora. So it was only fair.

They had parked up when Catra put a hand out. She didn’t even look at Adora as she said, “Hey, ill take your phone. Then beatrix can't track you.

Thanks.

This is for me. So, I don't get into trouble for not going everywhere with my keeper.

They had parked up when Catra put a hand-out. She didn’t even look at Adora as she said, “Hey, I'll take your phone. Then Beatrix can't track you."

Adora blinked. Then pulled out her phone and held it out. "Thanks."

Catra took it without looking at her. "This is for me. So I don't get into trouble for not going everywhere with my keeper."

With that, she slammed the car door.

Adora waited for a full minute, her eyes on the clock built into her car. Then she climbed out too, shrugging her backpack onto her back and walking up to the school. It was clear that things had changed. She was receiving odd looks and people muttered as she walked passed. Lonnie ignored her when she opened her locker.

Then slammed it closed. Lonnie was scowling at her palm on the door, but still didn’t look at Adora.

“You gunna talk about Friday night or not?”

“I…don’t know what there is to say?”

“The band? You thanked the band? No one thanks the band-“

“They work hard and-“

“And what? It’s their _hobby_! That’s what they do.” Connie finally looked up, her eyes fierce.

“And we should just ignore them?”

“Yes. That’s what we do.”

“Why? Why, Lonnie?”

“ _Because_. Because they’re annoying and pretentious and think _we’re_ all stupid,” Lonnie said. “Because they’re all on the student council too and they don’t do shit for us. Because they’re fucking _weird_ , Adora.”

“How are they weird?” Adora asked. They did think the football team were all stupid jocks, she knew that. But things had changed. Glimmer didn’t think that – anymore.

“Fuck, Adora.” Lonnie shook her head.

“Go on, Lonnie. Tell me.” There was an edge to Adora’s voice. She was challenging Lonnie, she realised and it made her heart race. This wasn’t a fight she wanted to have, but it wasn’t one she could avoid either. One that she could have a long time ago. Now it was harder. After sitting in a car with Glimmer and seeing those lavender eyes sparkle at her, she couldn’t ignore it.

“Because, Adora.” Lonnie leant against the locker, rolling her eyes. “They’re all lessies.”

“Oh, right,” Adora said. “Of course.”

She slammed her locker door closed and walked away. Her face was burning – with anger, she hoped. She really hoped that it looked like she was furious with Lonnie for the insinuation. Not that she felt sick. That her heart was racing because for a moment, for just a night, she had believed that it would be okay. Coming out would be okay. Maybe not.

Maybe this really was the point of no return. Now, the rest of the team was avoiding her too, shooting her confused looks. Adora had never been without friends. She had always had a clique. Since kindergarten and it scared her. If she wasn’t popular then who was she?

It played on her mind for the rest of the day. Lessons weren't so bad - she could pretend to be engrossed in Spanish or physics. It was lunch that was the real test.

For the first time in her life, Adora sat at an empty table. And maybe part of it was choice - part of it was not wanting to be sat with people who threw the terms 'lessie' and 'dyke' around. But part of it wasn't and she didn't like that part.

It was Bow who came to her rescue, carrying a tray with one hand like a waiter and a grin on his face. He sat down - like it was completely natural - like they did this everyday. 

"I've thought of a solution to your problem," Bow said in the place of 'hello.' "I'm calling it Schrodinger’s lesbian."

"Schrodinger’s lesbian?" Adora echoed. She hadn't touched her own food. Her stomach was in knots.

"Just don't come out to your mum. Keep it a secret."

"Maybe I'm not a lesbian. Maybe everyone gets feelings."

"Riiight." Bow rolled his eyes. "Adora, have you ever wanted to kiss a guy?"

"No." She spoke quickly at Bow's judgemental eyebrow raise. "But that's only because I've been ear deep in my studies my whole life."

"Right, right." Bow shrugged it off, his tone casual. But then he glanced up with that smile. "And who made you want to pull yourself out of that quicksand?"

"That's different."

"Of course, it is."

"Look - I don't - it doesn't even matter, because it's not like Glimmer even-" she paused at the look on Bow's face. He was smiling at her.

"What if I told you that Glimmer told me not to say anything on that subject."

Adora frowned.

"What did Glimmer tell you not to say anything about?" Glimmer was suddenly at the table. Sitting down and giving Bow a warning glance.

"Nothing, nothing." Bow was still smiling.

"So, we're eating lunch together," Adora said.

"Is that allowed?" Glimmer asked.

"I guess so. It's not like anyone else in lining up."

"That's what happens when you stand up for the band," Glimmer said.

"Welcome to the loser's club." Bow stretched his hands out in front of him, still grinning.

"You're not losers."

"I was quoting It."

"What?"

"It."

"What's It?"

"The movie. It."

"Oh my God." Glimmer put her head in her hands. "It's like watching dumb and dumber."

“Where you see idiocy, Glimmer, I see an opportunity.” Bow leant forward. “Movie. Night. This. Evening.”

Adora looked at Glimmer. Glimmer looked back at her, raising an eyebrow.

“I’m sure Adora has better things to do with her time,” Glimmer said.

“I don’t think Adora does,” Adora said. “I think Adora would like to try a movie night.”

“On a school night?”

“Yeah.” Though her heart was pounding. A school night. Home late. No studying.

But she could do this. She could go to Glimmer’s house and watch a movie and not freak out. And she did. She managed to laugh along in the car, even though Glimmer and Bow were quoting vines and she had literally never seen a single one in her life. She managed to say hello to Glimmer’s mom, which made her smile at them from above their laptop.

“Congratulations to the football team on another outstanding victory.”

“Thanks, ma’am.”

That had made Glimmer’s mom laugh and Glimmer take Adora’s arm, rolling her eyes and muttering, “really, Adora? Do you have to be so perfect all the time?”

“Oh, I really do,” Adora said.

Glimmer turned then,  a strange smile on her face that seemed to live mostly in her eyes. It brought heat to Adora’s face and she had to look away. Her stomach was still in knots, but she was determined to ignore it. It would be fine, she told herself. She did not have to study every day. In fact, she deserved a day off. She deserved to spend time with her friends.

At least, if Catra was allowed, she should be too. The thought wasn’t convincing. She wasn’t Catra – there weren’t the same rules. But she was trying – she was really trying because she wanted to be less like herself and more like Glimmer.

That was, until the movie started. Children singing a nursery rhyme that sent chills up Adora’s arms.

“Wait,” She said, too late. “Is this a horror movie?”

“Yeah.” Bow said. He had buried himself in pillows, creating a wall between himself and Adora. Which meant that she was incredibly aware of Glimmer’s arm pressed against her own.

“I’m really not into horror movies.”

“Have you ever watched one?”

“Well, no.”

“Well Adora, sometimes you have to _try_ things to know if you like them or not.”

Adora looked at Bow. He smiled back, but his eyes were behind her. On Glimmer. He raised an eyebrow slightly and Adora scowled at him. It was better to focus on the movie than on his smug face. Or how Glimmer shifted so that she was sat better every five minutes or so. Every time she did, she nudged against Adora.

The film didn’t end up being as scary as Adora thought it would be. Not when Glimmer and Bow were making sarcastic comments all the way through, and especially not when she could smell the shampoo Glimmer had used.

And when it was over, Bow glanced at his phone and groaned, throwing himself backwards onto the pillows.

“Look at the time! And I’m so tired! I don’t know how I’ll ever make it down the street!”

“Do you want to stay here the night, Bow?” Glimmer said, with a tone that suggested she knew the answer.”

“It’s so late, Glimmer, I couldn’t bother my dads at this time of night.”

“It’s not even ten o’clock.” Adora said.

“So late.”

“You can stay too if you want,” Glimmer said. She glanced at Adora.

“Yes!” Bow was back up in an instant, an arm around Adora’s shoulder. “Best friends night! We’ll marathon the original It as well, make s’mores in the microwave-“

“It’s a school night,” Adora said. It was one thing to blow the afternoon off – but she had a sneaking suspicion she would be looking at her textbooks before she went to sleep. It was meant to help you remember it, after all.

“ _I’m_ staying.”

“Bow, half of your house is already here,” Glimmer said. She rolled her eyes, but she was still smiling.

“I also don’t have my phone with me.”

“You can use mine.” Bow was already pulling his out of his pocket.

“No – no, my mom – she doesn’t – she doesn’t answer if she doesn’t know who it is.” It was a half-lie. Generally true, but she also couldn’t risk Catra spilling the beans. Anyway, her phone was at home. By all accounts, she was too.

“It’s fine,” Glimmer said. Almost too quickly.

“Did your phone break or something?” Bow asked. “Why’d you forget it?”

Well, she wasn’t about to tell them that Beatrix had installed a tracker. That she was sneaking out and breaking the rules just by being with them.

“Yeah, just left it on the side like a dummy.” Sometimes it scared her how casually she could lie. Between her and Catra, it was easy to come up with something believable fast.

There was a pause. A horrible pause where Adora was terrified that they were about to find out. But then Glimmer nudged Adora with her elbow. “C’mon, you, I’ll drive you home.”

Adora’s stomach jumped. She tried not to let it show on her face as she stood.

“Can I hang out with your mom whilst you’re gone?” Bow asked after them.

“No.”

“Can I raid the fridge?”

“As long as you leave my chocolate.”

“Boo.”

Glimmer flipped the bird at him before she followed Adora up the staircase.

“Bow’s actually going home?” Mrs Gongjunim called from the living room. There was a documentary on as they passed.

“Ah, no,” Glimmer stuck her head around the doorframe and Adora dithered behind her. She couldn’t imagine springing something like that on a parent. A few days notice was needed, at least. “He’s staying, I’m dropping Adora back.”

Mrs Gongjunim looked around. She smiled at Adora with the air of a queen and she found herself trying to fix an awkward smile on her face back.

“Thank you for having me,” she said.

“It’s a pleasure, Adora. Though, I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave Bow alone.”

“He’s been alone here plenty of times,” Glimmer said. There was a tightness in her voice.

Mrs Gongjunim raised an eyebrow. She stood, switching off the t.v without even looking. “It’s getting late, Glimmer. Why don’t I drop Adora back?”

“Because that would be weird? She’s like half an hour away – tops.”

“Is this just because I’m your headteacher?”

“It’s because you’re my _mom_.” Glimmer crossed her arms.

Adora shifted her weight. An argument was brewing in the air – she could feel it. It made her tense – made her want to run. To make herself small and get out of the way. She wondered if Mrs Gongjunim would shout. If Glimmer would shout back. An image popped into her head of Glimmer with bruises that matched her eye colour.

She squeezed her eyes tight – voices buzzing around her like wasps. This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be happening here as well – where everything was nice, clean and smelt of vanilla-

A hand touched her shoulder.

She opened her eyes to see Mrs Gongjunim looking down at her. She was smiling slightly, but there was an elegant crease in her brow that showed concern. Glimmer was stood behind her, her arms crossed as she scowled at the floor. She had blown out her cheeks slightly and it brought a cute blowfish to Adora’s mind.

“Shall I meet you in the car?” Mrs Gongjunim said. She smiled as she glanced between them. “I’ll leave you to say your goodbyes.”

That made Glimmer blush bright red. “ _Mom_!”

But Gongjunim was laughing at her child yelling at her as she headed down the hall, fishing car keys out of a trinket dish like a Roman lady plucking grapes from a bunch.

Adora’s face was warm too. The insinuation had been heavy in Mrs Gongjunim’s voice and she cleared her throat as if that would help to dispel the awkward atmosphere.

“Thanks – for today,” Glimmer said. She pulled at the sleeve of her oversized cardigan and smiled self-consciously. She wasn’t quite meeting Adora’s eyes. “I know it must have been a struggle.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Adora tried to bluff.

Glimmer just shrugged. “It just seems like – you’re not a person to change up your schedule. It was cool that you did, for us. When we’re the reason the team ditched you.”

“Don’t make it sound like I’m doing you a favour.” Adora was surprised to find anger sprouting in her voice. “You’re doing me a favour. Just for letting me hang around you when I’m an asshole.”

“Then the pleasure was all mine.” Glimmer was really smiling now, her cheeks glowing. She glanced up at Adora, then suddenly she was throwing her arms around her. She was hugging her – tight – maybe as tightly as she had at that first game of the season. Adora couldn’t tell. It seemed much more intimate now. She could feel the shape of Glimmer’s body against hers and Adora’s arms were around Glimmer’s waist before she could think about it. Glimmer was warm. And she smelt of vanilla and pink lemonade infuser sticks. Adora hadn’t known two smells that worked so well together – that were so _Glimmer._

Then the moment was over, and Glimmer was walking Adora to the door, looking only slightly better. Adora wondered if her face was still boiling – she figured it was, from the way the cold air felt against her cheeks.

She climbed into Glimmer’s mom’s car – a Honda, the most mom car imaginable, turning to see Glimmer’s silhouette at the doorway. She was leant against the doorframe, waving and smiling. Adora felt short of breath.

“You know, I used to hate you,” Glimmer’s mom seemed to be talking almost to herself as she started down the driveway. She saw Adora’s expression in the rearview mirror and laughed. “I only mean because I had to hate whoever Glimmer hated.”

“She really hated me, huh?” Adora managed to stumble out.

“You know, I could never quite figure it out. She’d curse you in one breath, then turn around and say that you had beautiful blue eyes in the next.”

Adora stopped breathing for a moment. “Oh.”

“But she doesn’t talk to me. I have to try and catch her and Bow’s conversations.”

Adora forced a laugh. “You don’t listen in?”

“I respect my daughter’s privacy,” Mrs Gongjunim said. “If there’s something she wants to tell me, she knows I’m all ears. But there’s a line. She can decide where she wants to place it.”

“Would you,” Adora paused. She took a breath. Something about this felt safe – in a mom’s car in the dark. “Would you track her phone?”

"We considered it. Just in case either of us were out late. But I'm not out very much these days and Glimmer's always with Bow, or most lately, you. I know she'll be safe if she's with someone else, and if I'm worried I can call. I trust her. That's the most important thing - trust."

"Did you swallow a parenting book, or something?" Yet Adora was picking her nails. Beatrix didn't trust her. And Adora didn't think she trusted her either. She was far more likely to call Bow or Glimmer of she needed help.

"In a way." Mrs Gongjunim smiled. "I have a degree in child psychology."

"Oh." Adora wasn't sure what to say to that. They were there. At the top of her road and she said, "I can - walk from here."

"Nonsense. I'm seeing you get through the door safely."

So Adora scrunched in her seat, as if that would stop Mrs Gongjunim realising what street they were on. She stopped outside Adora's and cut the engine.

"How long have you and Glimmer been together?" she asked.

Adora was sure that her brain had stopped circuiting. For a moment, she froze, then all of her words came out at once. "We're - we're not- dating. We're - friends. We're just - I'm not even, well I'm not sure if I'm even-"

She was getting used to the word, but she didn't want to say it in front of her headteacher. It felt like a word adults shouldn't hear. Just a teenage secret.

"I see." But Mrs Gongjunim's face was kind. She smiled at Glimmer in the orange light of the streetlamp. "Adora, if you're ever struggling, I'd be happy to talk you through some of your feelings."

"I - I don't think-" Adora broke off. There were so many awkward elements to that. How on earth could she go to her headteacher and say that she had a crush on her daughter? Not to mention the kick in her gut at the mention of it. Counselling. It made her physically recoil. No. No, counselling wasn't perfect. Counselling was admitting that she couldn't cope. And she could. She could cope. "I think that would be kind of weird. You're my best friend's mom."

"Yes, I can see why that would be an issue." There was a pause. Adora put her hand on the car door. She was itching to get out. "I'll save you the over protective talk on if you hurt my daughter, then."

Adora gave an awkward laugh - as if that was amusing - just to be polite, and climbed out the car, still muttering thank yous.

It was only when she had closed the front door as quietly as she could behind her, that she realised what she said. That Glimmer was her best friend. How did that happen?

No, she knew how. It was the car rides and the milkshakes and everything in between. But she didn't know when. Couldn't pinpoint an exact moment where she had felt like Catra wasn't her friend.

And Glimmer was, apparently. Adora's best friend, who she had a crush on. She couldn't believe the cliche of it all. And it was terrifying. It was terrifying how Glimmer's smile made her heart pound. As terrifying as a horror movie.

Yet, the horror movie that they had watched hadn't been scary at all. Adora had managed that. She remembered what Bow had said at lunch. That Glimmer had told him to shut up about it. Glimmer's mom had said Glimmer had talked about Adora's eyes.

So maybe it wasn't that scary after all.

*

"I don't think your mom likes me."

"I meant to tell you I like your hair like that."

Adora wondered if she should have been surprised to find Glimmer crouching on the porch roof. But it seemed so natural. That she would just be drifting off to sleep to hear a knock on her window. She had peeked through the curtains – terrified at first that it was one of the team. Then her eyes had made out Glimmer’s shape in the darkness. She had opened the window without a second thought and now they were there – just staring at each other.

"What?"

"What?"

“You'd better come in," Adora whispered. "Unless you want to stay out there all night, Romeo?"

Glimmer grinned at that. She pressed a hand to her heart, the other to her forehead. "I take thee at thy word – call me but love, and I’ll be new baptis’d!"

"Ssshh!" Adora pressed a finger to her lips, but she was giggling. Giggling. Adora. The words didn't usually go together. "You'll wake my mom or Catra."

"Oh shit, wouldn't want to wake the nurse."  Glimmer climbed through, sitting on the windowsill so that the night air stirred the hair on the back of her neck. “No, more like that gross-ass guy in Tempest.”

“Don’t.” But Adora was still reeling from the Shakespeare. She couldn’t quote it – not like that. “Did you leave Bow on his own?”

"Yeah, why?" Glimmer swung her legs slightly. "He's busy texting his dreamboat. I thought I'd hang out with you."

Adora sat on the end of her bed. Why was she nervous? How could she be nervous in her own home? Of Glimmer. Glimmer, who she said was her best friend.

Glimmer who wanted to hang out with her.

"Isn't Bow your best friend?" she asked. It used to make her heart pound, now she just felt curious.

"Yeah, but, hanging out with you feels," Glimmer paused, tilting her head to one side. "Different." It made Adora's breath catch. "My mom doesn't hate you."

"She seemed - I don't know, like she was giving me the third degree." Adora leant backwards on the bed and turned her lamp on. It lit the room with a soft, yellow glow. Made Glimmer look like the colours of a sunset. "Like she was a dad cocking her gun because I looked at her daughter."

Glimmer laughed aloud, then clamped a hand over her mouth when Adora shushed her. Her eyes bulged as they waited to be found out.

But there were no sounds in the hallway. Only Glimmer and Adora trying to stifle breathless laughter.

"God," Glimmer whispered. " I'm so sorry. It's better than when she was trying to get me to come out to her."

"Oh yeah?"

"She kept telling me about all these lesbians on shows that she's been watching. I think she was just googling them."

Adora wanted to laugh, but her smile faded when she went to . "At least she - cares."

Glimmer tilted her head again. She frowned, ever so slightly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean - I don't - I don't even know," Adora took a breath. She couldn't finish the sentence.

"Have we given you a case of the gay?" Glimmer was smiling about it, as if it was nothing. As if it was a perfectly good thing.

Adora smiled despite herself, as if smiling would fix things. "Maybe."

“And you don’t know how to tell your mom?” Glimmer moved, so that she was sat on the edge of the bed too.

“I don’t even know how to tell myself,” Adora whispered. She brought her knees up to her chest and realised just how plain her room was. Plain white walls, plain wooden furniture – no fairy lights or posters or anything with her name on it. No heart shaped cushions or fluffy blankets. It was like a hotel room.

“Oh, Adora.” Glimmer’s voice was soft. Her fingers brushed against Adora’s hair, pulling it back behind her ear. “You know, I did mean it earlier – and I meant to say it the other day, but I chickened out. Your hair looks good like this. You should wear it down more.”

Glimmer was close and her voice was low and her finger was still close to Adora’s ear. And yet she felt strangely calm. Her heart was still hammering out of her chest, but it seemed to be spurring her on. She thought that she was starting to connect the dots.

“That’s really not helping my case of the gays,” she whispered.

Glimmer paused. She was still smiling, but she wasn’t meeting Adora’s eyes.

“That sounds like a you problem,” Glimmer whispered back. “I can’t help being beautiful.”

“I never said that.”

“Yes, you did.”

That was when Adora remembered. It seemed like lifetimes ago that Glimmer was sat in her passenger seat, leaving glitter on the seat and scowling at Adora. Ages since she blew that kiss at her.

“I was feeling like shit that night,” Glimmer continued. She started to pick at some of the glittery nail polish coating her fingers like icing and, without even thinking about it, Adora put her hand over Glimmer’s to stop her. Her fingers looked like ivory against Glimmer’s olive skin. “And hearing you say that – well, I still didn’t like you, but it made me feel _so_ much better about myself. And ever since then I’ve felt more – and I know this is about you and I’m making it about me, but – thank you. Thank you so much, Adora.”

And just like that, Glimmer tilted her face to the side and pressed her lips against Adora’s cheek.

She froze. Completely froze. Her hand was still on Glimmer’s and her heart was still pounding but she couldn’t move. It was as if she had been snapped in a polaroid camera and was just – stuck. She could only listen to the beating of her blood in her ears. Glimmer’s hand was warm under hers, and her breath was hot on her cheek.

“Oh, I’m – sorry,” Glimmer whispered. She pulled away, pulled her hand out from under Adora’s. “That – that doesn’t have to mean anything, if you don’t want it to. It can just be – like a gal pal’s thing, if you want.”

And it felt like taking a nosedive off of a cliff. It was the point of no return, but Adora was chasing Glimmer’s hand with her own fingers and squeezing it tight. She knew that her hands were cold – knew that she was freezing – and yet she hoped that Glimmer might share a little of her warmth. Just for a little while.

“No – I – I’d like it to mean something.”

She wished that she hadn’t turned the light on because it was suddenly hard to meet those lavender eyes.

“Oh,” Glimmer breathed. “ _Oh._ Well then, I suppose we should…”

She trailed off, leaning back towards Adora. It had only just occurred to her that she didn’t have a lot of experience in this department – no experience in this department – and Glimmer almost certainly had more than her. What was she going to do? How was she going to manage to pull this off? She was going to have to kiss a girl – a girl she _liked,_ and –

And Glimmer’s lips pressed against her own. It was a clumsy, awkward, partly misplaced kiss. Yet it made Adora’s mouth tingle and she _liked_ it – liked it almost as much as she liked Glimmer – and if she could just tilt her head slightly –

A door creaked open in the hallway.

“Adora? Are you okay?”

She swore. Her hand tightened on Glimmer’s out of reflex. “She can’t find you here.”

“Right.” Glimmer was at the window in the next moment. She turned, her eyes sparkling as she looked up at Glimmer. Her cheeks were pink – pink and round and Glimmer was _glowing_. Adora felt the same – like she was full of fire and it was escaping through every one of her pores. “I’ll see you at school.”

She blew Adora a kiss, and then slid off the roof in the next moment.

Adora had never given much thought to Romeo and Juliet. She had only said it tonight in a throwaway joke. But now she was tempted to pick it up and read it – just read it for fun.

Only because she was pretty certain that she knew exactly how Juliet felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Sorry for missing last week's update - been busy finishing up my coursework. But now I have all summer off so hopefully I'll be able to catch back up with updates.  
> Enjoy this chapter, don't forget to comment and thanks all so much for the support so far! xx


	7. 7

7

Adora had barely slept. She had been buzzing the whole night.

She wondered if Glimmer had messaged her. Catra still had her phone and she couldn't risk waking her. She could only hope that Catra wouldn't look.

When did she start keeping secrets from Catra?

"How was it?" Catra asked as thy were driving to school. It took Adora a moment to realise what she meant. Then she nodded, but it was hard to speak around the lump in her throat.

"It was - good. We watched that movie - It."

"You don't like horror movies." Catra's feet slid off the dashboard. "You don't like _movies_."

"Maybe I'm trying something new."

"Adora? Trying something new? Fuck, they really got to you, didn't they?"

Did we give you a case of the gay? The words buzzed around Adora's head and she bit her lip to stop her smile. And yet, there was a niggle in her at that comment. It wasn’t that Adora didn’t like _movies_ – Adora didn’t like not being productive. She didn’t like sitting and not multi-tasking. Movies weren’t the problem. The problem was that she hadn’t seen many movies, because she was off trying to be perfect all the time whilst Catra was goofing off. Actually, she thought she liked movies. For two hours she had been transported. She believed in this world with these characters and wanted to see them succeed.

For two hours she had escaped. Escaped worrying about school and Glimmer and Beatrix and –

And Catra.

"At least my new thing isn't drugs," she said. She wasn't even sure why. Just a bit of her was desperate to dig into Catra a little - maybe because Catra was consistently digging into her.

Catra groaned. Leant back so hard that the chair murdered and Adora clenched her jaw.

"A little weed never hurt anyone, Adora," she said. Then, muttered in a tone that Adora was sure she wasn't meant to hear. "Maybe it would lighten you up a little."

Adora was lightened up. At least, she thought she was. She was getting there. She had come to terms with being a little gay – she had come out to the person she had liked. They had kissed. Well, kind of. Now that they both knew how the other felt, they were kind of a thing.

Shit. They were a thing. She had kind-of kissed Glimmer and yet she had no idea what she was going to say to her today. What could she possibly say after that? After Glimmer climbing in through her open window and sitting on her bed. Glimmer saying ‘thank you’ and kissing her cheek.

Glimmer thanking her so earnestly. How could she compete with that?

But she did manage to pin Bow at his locker.

"I need your help."

"I know," Bow replied. For once he looked serious.

"You - know?"

"I got all the details at around half four in the morning."

"So?"

"Sooo?" There was the Bow that Adora supposed she loved. The Bow smiling at her with a raised eyebrow.

"What the fuck am I going to do?"

"Right, so." Bow closed his locker, swinging an arm around Adora's shoulders and leaning close. " The next football game, you bring along a speaker and a microphone, right? Then you get 'accidentally in love' from the Shrek 2 soundtrack playing and you dedicate a song for Glimmer."

"I'm sure that would be hilarious if I had seen Shrek 2."

"You haven't - how haven't you seen Shrek 2?" Bow was recoiling from her, pulling away to yell. "Glimmer, Adora hasn't seen Shrek 2!"

Glimmer turned then. Looking just as perfectly made up as she did every other day. Winged eyeliner and glittery eyeshadow and lip-glossed lips. Lips that _shone_ in the fluorescent lights of the hallway. Only her cheeks were slightly pinker today.

"What a nightmare." It came off as a little sarcastic - a little fake. 

"Best friend squad part two tonight?" Bow was grinning.

"I think I'm going to have to rain check you on that one," Glimmer said, slowly. She wasn't looking at Adora.

"You can't kick me out of your house."

"It's not _your_ house, Bow." She had a hand on his shoulder. Still avoiding eye contact with Adora, her eyes glancing up every now and then and away just as quickly. “Can we talk, Adora?”

“Sure.”

“Oh, I see. Out trio’s down to two.” He held a hand over his chest. “Only our trio’s down to one because I don’t have a pumbaa.”

Glimmer rolled her eyes, linking her arm through Adora’s and leading her over to the toilets.

“You’re pumbaa and you know it,” she called over her shoulder.

Adora couldn’t concentrate. Her brain was going haywire. Glimmer was touching her – Glimmer had her arm through hers like they were friends and this was easy and simple and – it wasn’t. Nothing about this was easy and simple, but she was still buzzing at the memory of Glimmer’s mouth on hers. They were a thing. They were a _thing_.

Was Glimmer thinking about the kiss? Was she thinking about their linked arms?

There were two freshmen in the bathrooms. They were giggling and whispering, curling their hair around their fingers as they looked in the mirror.

“Show me your hall passes or scram, kiddos,” Glimmer snapped.

They looked at her with heavily outlined eyes, then stalked out. Adora heard their mutters as they walked out. Glimmer didn’t seem to notice, she was hopping up onto the sink.

"Hey." Adora caught one of the girl’s arms. She stopped in her tracks, looking up at Adora with disgust. "Watch your mouth."

The other one recognised her then. Elbowed her friend and told at her to shut up - because that's _Adora._

They left Adora and Glimmer alone in the toilets, skittering out of the door with a few hushed whispers. She leant against the side of a stall, looking over at Glimmer. She was leaning forward slightly, a hand either side of her.

"So how is this going to work?" Glimmer asked.

"What?"

"You're not out to your mom.”

"I don't even think I'm out to myself, Adora replied.

Glimmer's eyebrow quirked upwards. “Is that an excuse to repeat last night?”

She might as well have poured petrol on Adora and dropped a match on her. Her face was flaming at just the thought of kissing Glimmer again. It had felt _right_ – so right. It had made her stomach flutter and every part of her alight.

“Well, I mean – if you – if you want to repeat last night, I wouldn’t have any objections,” Adora stammered.

“Babe. That’s gay.” Glimmer spoke slowly, her eyes holding Adora’s.

“Uh, I think I still need a reminder.” Adora leant forward slightly, her heart pounding. This was flirting. They were casually flirting in the bathrooms. At least, this was Adora tempting to flirt.

Glimmer held up a hand. She had ducked her head down to hide a quickly growing smile. “We cannot kiss in the girl’s bathroom. You're not out to your mom so if anyone sees us - it'll get reported back to her, right?"

"Maybe."

"Catra would definitely tell if she knew. Gossip spreads like wildfire around this school. Especially relationship gossip."

"What does it matter?"

"I'm assuming there's a reason you haven't mentioned it to her."

"I haven't mentioned it to her because - because it's kind of a recent thing." Why wouldn't the floor just open up and swallow her whole already?

“Are you going to mention it to her?”

She could imagine it. But she couldn’t. She could – she could imagine it going ten different ways. She could imagine a shout. A short slap. The silence stretching on. Beatrix had spat on a boy in the street once. Maybe she would do that to Adora too.

There was a thousand ways it could go, and the one where she hugged Adora and told her how brave she was happened to be the least likely one to happen.

“No,” Adora said.

“So we can’t – we can’t be open at school about it,” Glimmer said. She swallowed.

 “Okay.” Adora nodded. It didn’t seem right. Didn’t seem enough. She wanted to tell everyone that Glimmer _liked_ her. She _liked_ Glimmer and Glimmer _liked_ her back. “Is that okay for you?”

“If it keeps your homelife easier, then it’s perfect with me.” That was when Glimmer softened completely. She tilted her head to the side, the smile still on her face. Strands of hair fell over her tanned skin and her eyes seemed to glow. Lavender eyes.

Adora realised she was smiling too. She was just stood there. Smiling at Glimmer. And Glimmer was just smiling back.

“I think I like you,” Adora said. She pushed non-existent hair away from her forehead, still beaming like an idiot. “I think I really like you, Glimmer.”

“You know.” Glimmer hopped off of the sink, stepping forward so that her boots were in between Adora’s converses. She was smiling up at her and she was close enough to kiss. Adora would just need to duck her head slightly. “You’re not half bad either.”

Smitten. Adora had never used the word in her life, never even given it much thought. But as Glimmer walked out of the girl’s toilets, it was the only word in her head. Smitten.

She was absolutely smitten.

*

The day had been absolute torture to get through. Glimmer was there, smiling at her from down the end of the table, or over her shoulder, and yet Adora couldn’t _talk_ to her. Not really talk. It felt like they had some kind of childish secret between them, the way they kept smiling at each other. All Glimmer had to do was smile and it sent Adora’s cheeks glowing. But at least the reaction seemed to be mutual.

Practice was grim. They had entered the rainy season now and mud streaked up the back of Adora’s legs as she ran. Rain flecked her skin, stinging as if shards of ice were raining from the sky. Normally, she could power through it. The damp and the sting drove her on – made her unstoppable. Today, all she could think about was Glimmer’s warm basement room. Of mounds of pillows and hot chocolate and _finally_ getting to talk to Glimmer. It made every minute last an hour.

But it finally came to an end, and Adora was racing to the parking lot where the familiar purple car waited. Glimmer was inside, a tattered paperback in her hands that she wasn’t reading. She was staring out at the rain with a dreamy look on her face.

“Hey.” Adora climbed in without hesitation. Glimmer’s car was as familiar as her own.

“Hey.” Glimmer didn’t move.

Adora waited a moment. “You ready?”

She was passed the paperback as Glimmer flicked the car to life, pulling out of the parking space without changing the direction of her gaze. She was looking at the horizon, over the hills and trees to that space that promised so much more to the world even though it was the end of their small ones.

“It’s starting to get foggy.”

“Is this what we’re resorting to talking about now? The weather?” Adora asked. She was smiling, folding down a corner of the book and tucking it into the glove compartment. Some teen novel full of cliché lost princesses and angsty love interests.

Glimmer smiled at that, finally blinking and turning her attention to the road. “Sorry. Thinking. Hard. Long day.”

Adora laughed. The streetlights were already starting to flick on – yellow and amber orbs, slightly blurry in the rain. It was even heavier now, turning everything blurry at the edges. That felt like how things were – the two parts of Adora’s life blurring into each other. But it also made the world feel safe. There was something unreal about it, like stepping into a different land.

“So,” she said, leaning forward. She knew that she was covered in mud. She knew that Glimmer didn’t care. “We’re finally alone.”

Glimmer glanced across at her, staying serious for only a moment. Then her face cracked open in a smile and she laughed, stopping at a red light. “Calm down, you tomcat. Can we get home first?”

There was so much in those two sentences to stop Adora in her tracks. Home? Glimmer’s home was home for Adora too? That made her feel warm. Her, Glimmer, Bow in _their_ home. A better home than her real one.

Of course, the other part made her warm too. Boiling hot.

“I wasn’t – I didn’t mean that-“

“Oh, you don’t want to make out in the back of my car?” Glimmer seemed to be enjoying herself, kicking the car into life again.

“Is that an offer?”

Glimmer glanced sideways at her. “Maybe.”

Then she burst into another round of giggles. They were infectious enough to spread to Adora.

“God, your bad teen movies showing.”

“Not my fault. I don’t even watch teen movies.”

Glimmer laughed and shook her head. It was weird to think that it wasn’t so long ago Adora wondered if the girl even smiled. Now she was laughing constantly – and yet it still surprised her every time.

“Sorry,” Adora said. “I’m chatting shit. I don’t – I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve never – and I’ve waited all day to be alone with you but I honestly think I might be sick.”

“Well, don’t do that.” Glimmer turned onto her road. “Because I’m still me and you’re still you and there’s nothing scary about that.” She pulled to a stop in front of her perfect house. “Actually, there is, isn’t there? Because you’re the star of the football team and I’m just – well, I’m just on the bleachers. Not even cheer captain.”

“Are you…quoting Taylor Swift at me?”

“So that’s the one reference you get.” Glimmer looked up, brushing hair out of her eyes. But she was still smiling. She nudged Adora’s shoulder with the back of her hand. “Come on, you. There’s absolutely nothing to worry about.”

Adora followed her out of the car, trying to hear those words over and over. Nothing to worry about, nothing to worry about.

But of course there was still Glimmer’s mom, who was as pleasant to Adora as she always was. There was something about that politeness today that made Adora shuffle. She’d insisted that her and Glimmer weren’t like that at all, and yet, there they were, sat in Glimmer’s room just chatting. That was when Glimmer reached over and held Adora’s hand as if it was completely natural. And kept holding it, still scrolling through her Instagram feed with her other hand.

And slowly started to rest her weight onto Adora, like a lazy cat.

“I like this,” she said. “Just chilling. With you.”

“I do too.”

“Studying isn’t chilling, Adora.” Glimmer nudged her with her elbow.

Adora had been balancing her textbook on her lap, revision notes on top so she could make notes as she read. She laughed and for some reason her arm decided to wrap itself over Glimmer’s shoulders. She didn’t think about it – couldn’t think about it, because it was done now. Her arm was around Glimmer and she couldn’t move it now.

“This is chilling for me.”

Glimmer was quiet for a moment. She had slid down slightly, so that she was on Adora’s midriff, looking up at her.

“Why is that?”

“Mom always pushed me to be the best I can be.”

To be perfect. And yet, when they had pulled up outside of Glimmer’s house, Adora had thought it was perfect. The perfect house. The perfect mom. The perfect girl.

She pushed the thoughts away. It made her feel like a leech.

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” Glimmer spoke slowly. She held Adora’s arm close to her, draped it over her front like a scarf. “But do you think you have some kind of OCD? Or anxiety?”

“Just because your mom has a degree in child psychology.” Adora started talking like it was a joke, but cracked under Glimmer raising an eyebrow. She was good at getting Adora to crack. “Yeah, I don’t know. Maybe.”

Probably.

“It just, doesn’t sound healthy,” Glimmer said. “And it’s not healthy, how you get nervous when you’re not working.”

"It’s probably not." Adora should probably be getting defensive - angry - about this. But she felt strangely calm. It had been things she had realised a while ago, but had ignored. What was there to do about it? That was her life and she hasn't wanted to change it. She hadn't needed to change it until Glimmer. "But, you know, how do I talk to your mom about that?"

Glimmer's eyes widened. "She did not ask to counsel you?!"

Despite how the word still made her shrivel she found herself laughing. "She did."

That was when she realised her hand was in Glimmers hair. Had been combing through short pink hair until she had realised and stopped.

Glimmer lifted a hand, held Adora's there with her own, turning into it slightly as if trying to hide her smile.

"I am. So. Sorry."

"It's fine."

"It's mortifying! You didn't take her up on the offer?"

"Oh yeah, I totally told her how hard I'm crushing on her daughter." Adora scoffed and rolled her eyes.

But Glimmer sat up. She was in a tangle, half in Adora's lap and half sprawled to the side.

"Really? And what else did you say?"

It took Adora a moment to realise what was happening. That they were flirting - this was flirting and Glimmer was so much better at it than she was.

"That, uh, she's like sunshine incarnate." Adora kept her eyes on the bedsheets. "Whenever she appears she's happy and bubbly and full of life. That even though she was prickly when we met, there's not a thing she wouldn't do for her friends and I think that's incredible."

Glimmer was silent, but she found Adora's hand and squeezed it tightly.

"She's got great hair, a great smile - she's wonderful at singing Disney songs, especially if she has to multi-role-"

She was going to continue, going to tell Glimmer just how much she loved staring into her eyes, but she was broken off midsentence. Glimmer's lips pressed against hers. They moved slowly, teasingly, coaxing Adora to return it.

At some point she'd closed her eyes and the world had just become this. Feeling Glimmer warmth against her and wanting more of it.

She lost track of time a little. All that mattered was keeping the connection between them, of holding Glimmer against her by placing the hand on the small of her back, or her hips, or shoulders. And feeling Glimmer's hands gripping her - clenched in her jacket.

But Glimmer pulled away.

"You know, you taste like dirt," she said.

"Are you trying to set up an insult?" Adora asked.

"That was honesty." Glimmer pulled away. She'd ended up sat on Adora's lap. "You've been out in the mud all afternoon."

"I have to play football."

A raised eyebrow. “Do you?”

“It’s my lifeblood.”

Glimmer laughed, so Adora leant forward again. She received a push to the collarbone.

"I'm saying go shower,” Glimmer said.

“Here?”

“You can go outside in the rain if you want?”

“Here’s fine.”

Glimmer smiled, her eyes shining with laughter. She swung herself off of Adora. “Come on, I’ll find a towel.”

So that was how, ten minutes later, Adora was standing in Glimmers bathroom wrapped in the fluffiest purple towel in existence, desperately trying to hide as much dirt as she could off of the shower. She hadn’t realised quite how caked in mud she had been. At least her regular clothes were saved the onslaught.

When she appeared back downstairs, the towel around her shoulders and her wet hair down, Glimmer was sat on the opposite side of the breakfast table to her mom.

She slowed on the stairs, trying to catch their conversation. They were laughing and joking about some mobile game. Apparently they both played it, and apparently Glimmer’s mom was awful at it. Adora found herself smiling. It was like they were friends. Was that how it was supposed to be?

When she came around the corner, Glimmer looked up. She nudged Adora with her foot.

“Do you wanna stay for dinner?” she asked, and when she saw Adora wavering, added. “You can’t go out with wet hair. You’ll get sick.”

“And you don’t have a hairdryer?”

“What’s a hairdryer?”

Adora laughed. “Sure.”

She had agreed without thinking. It was what she wanted to do – she was tired of thinking about Beatrix and Catra and the rest. So she sent a quick text and then turned her phone off.

Mrs (!!) was talking. “’Mom, can Adora stay for dinner?’ I’d course, Glimmer, thank you for asking.’”

“Why do I need to ask when I know the answer is yes?” Glimmer kicked out a stool for Adora and she slipped onto it.

“Its polite.”

“Eh.” Glimmer shrugged, her foot lingering around Adora’s ankle. “I’m a teenager. I’m not supposed to be polite.”

“Adora’s polite.” Mrs (!!) nodded at her and she smiled awkwardly back.

“Yeah, well.” Glimmer found Adora’s hand under the table. Her stomach was full of a garden of butterflies. “Adora’s perfect.”

Perfect. No she wasn’t. Nowhere near.

But if Glimmer thought that, it was fine by her.

*

She faced an explosion when she got in.

Adora had been leaning against the door, waving goodbye to Glimmer with a wide smile on her face. The moment she had closed it, a hand had tightened around her arm. Suddenly, somehow, she was pressed with her back against the door. Pale skin loomed in front of her, dark hair blending into the dark of the hallway.

“So this is the thanks I get? Working hard every day of your life to provide you with dinner and you throw it back in my face?”

“It wasn’t like that-“

“Is it not good enough for you, Adora? Not good enough here so you have to go to Bright Moon Crescent?”

“I was with a friend.”

Girlfriend. They hadn’t said it yet, but that’s what it was.

“None of your friends live there. No one decent lives there, you know that. And you’ve been round there a lot, I know you have. Catra told me.”

So Catra was playing double agent. For some reason, that hurt Adora much more than it should have. She should have expected it – Catra was always out for Catra’s self interest. But she had trusted her. She thought they had an agreement.

Adora kept silent, keeping her eyes on the ground and not on the woman in front of her. The monster in front of her. Maybe it was like a t-rex. Maybe if she stayed still, Beatrix wouldn’t see her.

It didn’t work. She was shaken by her shoulders, her head lolling up and down like a doll’s.

“Who, Adora? Who’s trying to steal you away?”

“What do you mean?”

“They’re trying to make you believe that they’re better than I am. You remember, Adora, I’m your mother. _I’m_ the one who raised you. Who made sure you grew up to be clever and strong and perfect. You’re _mine_ , Adora.”

There was something about the way she said it that sent chills up Adora’s spine.  There was a softness to it, like she really meant it. Like she really cared. She _loved_ Adora.

“I know,” she said. “I know. I’m sorry – I’m sorry. I love you.”

“And I love you. That’s why I want you to make the right decisions.” Hands in her hair. Being pressed against Beatrix’s chest. She had put too much perfume on and Adora felt sick. This wasn’t right. She didn’t normally feel like this.

She loved Beatrix. She always had.

But she had never been scared of her before. Never like this.

But Adora had never made her own decisions either. This was her, she realised, doing what _Adora_ wanted. Being who _she_ wanted to be. And she didn’t care that much about science – hated chemistry and biology and couldn’t stand physics. She’d much rather be sat on Glimmer’s bed. That was Adora.

And Beatrix didn’t know the first thing about her. She didn’t know what really made Adora laugh, or what she thought about school, other than marks and homework. Didn’t know that she played football because she wasn’t _Adora_ on the field. She was a number and part of a team. Invisible and unstoppable, but not _Adora._

That Adora was coming out more and more nowadays. Lavender eyes had coaxed her out. And that Adora wasn’t perfect, didn’t want to be perfect. Perfect was overrated and for other people. Perfect was the word to describe her girlfriend, not her.

Maybe that was why she said it. She wasn’t perfect and she wanted to remind Beatrix of that. Or maybe it was the other way around. Maybe she wanted Beatrix to know that she could still be perfect. She still loved her mom, after all.

“You know, Catra’s smoking weed right now.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): So, it's been a minute..  
> Basically, I took on too many projects, couldn't keep up, and when I missed my deadlines just couldn't get back on the horse to catch up.  
> (I also brought a switch and Breath of the Wild is my life.)  
> So I'm going to try my best to get back with this. There might not be too many more chapters - maybe 12/13?  
> But I hope you all enjoyed this and I'll hopefully see you soon! xx


	8. 8

8

Adora had heard the shouting. She'd heard almost every word.

She had seen the bruises on Catra's arms. Usually in the changing rooms, where she couldn't hide them with a long-sleeved jumper. Connie had asked what had happened.

"Fell down the fucking stairs, didn't I?" Catra had said.

Adora had glanced over at her then, guilt curdling her stomach as if it was full of sour milk.

"Doesn't look like stair marks," Connie had replied.

"They are," Adora said. "I was there."

Catra looked up, then, eyes narrowed and piercing. Adora froze, her water bottle in her hand.

“Yeah,” Catra said. “ _Adora_ was there.”

She had heard it happen and had seen the aftermath and hadn’t said a word to Catra yet. Catra hadn’t said a word directly to her, either.

Glimmer didn’t know. Of course she didn’t know. How could Adora tell her that she had thrown her sister under the bus and actually felt some sick satisfaction from it? Some sick voice in her head telling her that smoking weed was worse than being gay. That there was no way Catra could come back from this. Adora was safe.

Adora wasn’t safe. Beatrix’s anger was like a fire – it kept consuming and consuming, and there was no end to it. Adora had thrown cardboard expecting it to keep her safe for more than a few moments.

She caught Catra’s arm as they left the changing rooms. The last two – because Adora had been waiting and because Catra could barely raise her arms without wincing.

"Catra, I-" She had to say – she had to say something.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" Catra snarled, but stayed put.

"Yes. Here. Apologising."

Catra yanked her arm away, then. "An apology doesn't fix this Adora."

“Then what can? How can I-“

“You can shut it. If you’re not on my side-“

“I am-“

“Then stay away from me!” Catra was really hissing now, like a mad cat.

 People were staring now, and Adora hated that. She hated being stared at when she felt so raw – as if someone had cracked her open like a walnut. It was much better to be stared at when she was wearing a helmet and shoulder pads.

"That'll be rough to do when we live in the same house," Adora said. She don't know what possessed her to - Glimmer's influence, she guessed.

There were a few titters at that.

Catra stepped closer to her then, fury etched on her features. Her face was inches away from Adora's as she spat, "I mean it, Adora. Keep your mouth shut, or fuck off."

*

The words kept ringing in Adora's ears. It was like Catra was still in front of her, stuck on loop. The anger- no, the pure /fury/ in her eyes.

She had looked just like Shadow Weaver.

"What are the main themes of Othello?" Glimmer asked suddenly.

Adora blinked down at her. Glimmer was lying in Adora's lap, reading on her phone whilst the latest season of some cartoon she loved played away on her laptop.

"What?" Adora asked.

"You're restless again. I figured if I asked you a study question it would get you to relax." Glimmer pressed her head against Adora's navel. "You're all tense."

It was easier to let Glimmer believe Adora was tense because of that, as opposed to the fact there was a girl in her lap. A girl she liked. Really liked. She didn't know how to explain to Glimmer that she had never factored this into her life - a girlfriend. That had never been in the cards and this was the first time Adora had been like this with anyone and her stomach was a bundle of nerves - as though she was about to play a game.

She didn't know how to explain that her heart was racing because Glimmer was lying on her as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

"That's muscle," Adora said, instead, and Glimmer laughed. "We're not even studying Othello, anyway."

"I know. I thought I'd have a one up on you because of it," Glimmer said. "We read it in Junior High. My teacher said I was a good fit to read Cassio."

"Is that right?" Adora found herself smiling, even if her mind was worlds away.

Glimmer laughed again. "I think he knew."

"Sorry I'm no Desdemona."

It wasn't like Adora was properly blonde. She toed that line between blonde and brown and more often or not, it was sweaty or greasy rather than wavy. Her eyes were more grey than blue. Hardly anything like the way Desdemona should be. And yet Glimmer liked her.

Glimmer shrugged. "I prefer Luciana, anyway."

"Comedy of Errors." For some reason, it gave Adora the courage to test her head on top of Glimmer's. "I didn't know you were into Shakespeare."

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me," Glimmer said. "Its a requirement to love obscure Shakespeare characters at manic pixie dream girl orientation."

"Ah, but you see - I'm a jock."

"Ah, the classic jock with unexplored depths. It's all very cliche, you see." Glimmer was smirking and all Adora could think about for a moment was how the light shone on her lip gloss. "So what's up?"

“I-“ Adora bit her own lip for a moment. “You ever hear the cliché ‘sisters don’t tell’?”

“Yeah.”

“I may have broken that.”

“Sometimes,” Glimmer spoke slowly, her fingers trailing down Adora’s arms until she took her hand, squeezing it gently. “Sometimes, you have to.”

“Not with Catra.”

Glimmer was quiet for a moment. Her thumb rubbed over Adora’s fingertips.

“What’d she do?” she murmured.

“I shouldn’t have – I just needed to take the heat off me because Beatrix was so – I told her Catra had been smoking weed.”

Another hesitation. “And had she?”

“Well, yeah. I may be a snitch, but I’m not a liar.”

“Well, I mean.” Glimmer scrambled up, so that she was sat against the mound of pillows, one hand still clasped in Adora’s. “You were just worried, right?”

Adora didn’t reply. She bit her lip and glanced away, her hand going limp in Glimmer’s. She felt twitchy – had been twitchy for days now. Seeing Catra – seeing that Adora had cracked something in Catra, had only made things worse.

“Not,” Adora swallowed. It didn’t help. “Not really. Weeds not – it’s not a big deal. It’s just-  Beatrix was so mad about me staying here for so long-“

“Did you not tell her you were staying?”

“I said I was out for dinner.”

“Does she know that we’re friends?”

Adora tried for a smile. It felt wobbly and fake. “I thought we were girlfriends?”

Glimmer’s face was serious. “Adora.”

“I – she doesn’t cope well with change.”

“So, when are you planning to tell her?”

They weren’t holding hands now. Adora had her head in her hands, feeling ready to pull her hair out. She couldn’t even look at Glimmer. Disaster. This was all a disaster.

“I don’t know,” she said, letting her hands run the length of her hair. “I guess when Catra moves onto heroin.”

“This isn’t funny.”

“Look, it’s complicated!” Adora stood, pacing the room. She had to kick several pillows and soft toys out of her way as she did. “It’s not like you and _your_ mom, okay? She’s – cool and laidback, and understanding and Beatrix is – well, let’s just say me kissing a girl would be _way_ worse than Catra smoking _anything_!”

There was a pause in the room, where Adora’s words seemed to echo back at her.

But, by the time she had the courage to look up at Glimmer she found a small smile on her girlfriend’s face. (Girlfriend, God Adora loved that word.)

“You think my mom’s laidback?” Glimmer asked. She gave Adora another smile, then held out her hands. Adora stepped forward and took them, feeling like a rebuked dog coming back for a treat. Their hands swung between them, Glimmer’s glittery nail polish sparkling in the light.

“Uh – yeah. She’s super chill about everything.”

Glimmer laughed, and it came out as more of a snort. “She is _not_. She just acts that way so that people think she’s the cool mom.”

“She is the cool mom.”

“No mom is cool, Adora.” Glimmer pulled herself up, swinging from Adora’s arms until she stood right in front of her. “And she’s chill about everything because I don’t _tell_ her everything.”

“Would you tell her if Bow was smoking weed?”

“Yes. Because I would be worried about him.” Glimmer cocked her head to the side. “And mad that he had done it without me.”

“ _Glimmer!”_

Glimmer just laughed – and Adora could feel her chest hum at the sound. She wanted to make Glimmer laugh all day every day.

Scratch that, she thought, as Glimmer went up on her tiptoes and planted a kiss against Adora’s cheek. She wanted _that_ all day, every day.

“It’s up to you,” she said. Adora blinked – then remembered the thread of conversation. “You can either lie to Catra and say you were worried about her, or you can tell her the truth. Say that you were scared to come out. The truth is best with everyone but moms.”

Adora paused, because she needed a moment just to take this in. Take in Glimmer standing in front of her holding her hands, with flower shaped fairy lights twinkling away in the background. This had been her worst nightmare a few weeks ago. She hadn’t been able to think of anything worse than being stuck with _Glimmer_ of all people.

Now she’d give anything to stay forever.

“And when did you become so wise?”

“Oh, whilst you were getting your brains knocked out playing football.” Glimmer shrugged.

“You realise I can lift your body weight, right?” Adora found herself smirking.

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah!” Adora was scooping Glimmer up in her arms the next second, laughing at the ‘whoop’ scream that Glimmer let out as she did so. She spun, surprised at how easy it was to lift Glimmer up.

There was a bit of shuffling. Adora got Glimmer’s elbow in her cheekbone, and Glimmer almost fell to the floor, but in the next few moments Adora was comfortably carrying Glimmer like a bride. Glimmer was smiling up at her, with pink hair and pink cheeks and pink lips, from under her lashes.

“So, should I call you my knight?” Glimmer asked.

Adora’s stomach swooped like a hawk plucking up a rabbit. Yes, she decided, she liked that a lot. But she couldn’t say it _outright_ – instead she widened her smirk.

“Only if I call you Princess?” She hated how nervous she sounded, but she loved the way Glimmer glanced away, her hands tightening around Adora’s neck.

“I think,” Glimmer said, slowly, her fingertips resting on Adora’s cheek. Her eyes were half-closed as she leant forward, making Adora’s heart race just as fast as if it was the first time. “I’d like that.”

She was kissing Adora. Softly at first, then open mouthed, small sounds coming from the back of her throat. Adora was adjusting her grip, letting Glimmer’s leg swing around so that Glimmer’s legs could wrap around her waist.

There was a sudden knock at the door at the top of the basement.

“I hope I’m not interrupting,” Angella’s voice came down from the top of the stairs. Glimmer groaned and pulled away from Adora. She had to bite her lip to stop herself from laughing. “But I need to know how many I’m cooking for.”

“Just us, mom.” Glimmer rolled her eyes. Adora let her back down to the ground. “Adora’s mom got funny about it last time.”

“Glimmer!” Adora hissed.

The door was opening and Adora could see the shadow of Angella out in the hallway.

“Really? What if I had a word with her?”

“Oh, no – no, that’s okay. Really.” Adora wasn’t sure she could speak faster if she tried.

“Are you sure?”

“Mm!”

“Because if you want to stay-“

“I actually need to talk to Catra tonight.” She met Glimmer’s eye. “It’s kind of important.”

“Ah, yes. Catra,” Angella leant against the doorframe, so that her face caught the light. The rosy glow of the room made her skin glow pink. Adora could see where Glimmer got it from. “I’ve noticed she seems to be tagging along with a lot of the seniors. And I know I sound too much like a teacher when I say it, but I don’t think they’re the best influence. Would you know anything about that?”

Adora’s gaze flickered to Glimmer. Just for a moment.

“N-no,” she said. It was unconvincing, and she got a pair of raised eyebrows from Angella.

“I’ll drive you home,” Glimmer said, quickly. Her keys seemed to magically appear in her hands and Adora made as much a show of putting her backpack on as she could. Adora’s hands felt empty and cold as they headed up the stairs, not touching. Not letting anything on to Angella.

They thought they had done it – had gotten away with it, until Glimmer was opening the front door and they heard a call of, “Keep the door open from now on, girls.”

Adora felt her blood run cold. She stumbled into the car, eyes wide and heart thumping as she heard Glimmer close the car door.

Then Glimmer burst into giggles, falling against Adora’s side. Her shoulders shook as she turned into Adora.

“Uh…” it was all that came out of Adora’s mouth.

“Oh come on!” Glimmer sat up, her nose almost bumping into Adora’s. “That’s hilarious!”

Adora blinked. “She’s not mad?”

“No!” Glimmer started the car up. “Why would she be?”

Adora didn’t answer. She rested her elbow on the windowsill, her chin in her palm.

Glimmer changed the subject, switching instead to Spanish tests and pop quizzes. But there was still something in the air. Something upspoken that Glimmer was clearly too nervous to talk about. She was skirting around the question. It made Adora feel awkward and guilty. Glimmer was right; how long would this go on for until she could tell Beatrix? Would she ever be able to?

Would she ever be able to share her life – her real life – with her family?

*

A knock on Adora’s window made her snap bolt upright. The baseball bat she kept next to her bed was in her hand in moments, and she was crouching on the bed. Catra didn’t knock. Catra snuck past her whilst she slept. And Catra had been home everyday since Beatrix had found out about it. At least the bruises had healed over now – it had been a good week since she had decided to ignore Adora. She had snuck home and eaten her dinner without a word before slinking off all night and blasting off a playlist straight from her early teen years.

In fact, now that Adora was concentrating, she could hear the faint sound of _Everybody Hurts._ So, she poked the curtains open with her baseball bat.

And then grinned.

Glimmer and Bow were crouched on the patio roof, grinning at her and waving, their eyes and teeth glittering in the moonlight. She slipped off the end of the bed and cracked open the window.

“You sleep with a baseball bat?” Bow asked – too quickly and too loudly.

She ssshhed him, glancing over her shoulder. “You don’t?”

“No!” he glanced at Glimmer. She was smiling from ear to ear at Adora. “Maybe we shouldn’t have let her watch horror films.”

“We’re going to meet some friends at the park. Thought you’d want to join,” Glimmer said, as if they were alone.

“You normally go to the park at midnight?”

“On a Saturday, yeah.”

Adora frowned, pretending to pout, "And I'm never invited?"

Glimmer laughed, and Bow pressed a hand over her mouth, pressing a finger over his lips, even though he was giggling too.

"Adora," Glimmer whispered. "Aren't you in bed by nine o'clock?"

"Uh, ten. Most days."

Adora had to grab onto the window before she fell out of it. She pulled on a pair of jeans from the floor and slipped her bare feet into a tattered pair of converses. The soles were falling off, but it was dark. The three of them struggled to kept their balance as they waited for the waves of laughter to pass. There was something about the fear of being caught that made Adora feel giddy.

She got her balance back and swung herself onto the patio roof. They half slid, half fell over the tiles. Glimmer lost her balance and grabbed hold of Adora’s hand. It suddenly made it a lot harder to concentrate on stopping the fall by sticking her foot in the gutter.

They paused. Somehow Adora was also holding Bow’s hand and they held a collective breath, as though Beatrix would come swooping out of the house like a vampire. A bird cawed from a nearby tree, but it was silent.

Adora had to hold in another laugh, scrambling down the rest of the roof and onto the pavement.

The cars were too much of a risk to take. They walked instead, glancing back every few moments as if they were being followed. It took Adora way too long to realise that they were holding hands again, walking in a line and grinning. It was still warm outside, but the air was chill on Adora’s bare arms. She should have grabbed a hoodie.

This was what teenagers did. They snuck out. That was what Catra did. And Adora was finally trying it. It was exhilarating and exciting and a much longer walk than Adora first thought. She could feel her eyelids starting to droop, as Glimmer and Bow chattered either side of her. She only woke up when Glimmer squeezed her hand tightly and nudged against her.

“Almost there,” she murmured.

And they were. They turned the corner and found themselves in one of the larger play parks in the city. There were shadows on the swings and Adora could hear the creak of the hinges.

One shadow leapt off and began running towards them.

“Bow!”

His hand was wrenched from Adora’s as the tall figure attached herself to Bow. Glimmer’s phone torch turned on in the next moment, and Adora saw a mass of blonde curly hair, tanned skin and too many fake flowers.

“That’s Perfuma,” Glimmer said. The two other shadows were behind the blonde girl, and held up their hands as the light was shone on them. One a shorter girl with a long plait that gleamed dark blue like petrol in the torchlight, the other a taller guy who looked much older than a high schooler. It was the mustache that did it. Adora hadn’t even realised people still grew out moustaches. “And that’s Mermista and Seahawk.”

“Great, now put that thing away.” Mermista had a way of drawing out her words that made her sound incredibly bored.

“Seahawk?” Adora echoed.

“I go by my last name.”

“Nickname,” Bow chimed in. The girl still had one arm around his waist, but his eyes were fixed on the older guy. His skin wasn’t so dark that Adora couldn’t see a fierce blush across his cheeks. Ah. So this was _that_ guy. Adora wasn't one to hate on sight, but it put her on edge. This was the guy that Bow had ditched Glimmer for. The guy he was head over heels for, in Glimmer's words. She decided to stay cautious of this older guy.

“Great, now put that thing away.” Mermista had a way of drawing out her words that made her sound incredibly bored.

"And this," Glimmer took a breath and smiled at Adora with flushed cheeks. "Is Adora."

There was a silence. A silence that made Adora's heart stutter. Glimmers hand squeezed hers. She was smiling almost determinedly at the group around them.

"Oh." Perfuma's face turned to stone.

"Yeah," Mermista dragged the word out for an eternity. "We know Adora."

"You didn't let me finish," Glimmer said. "Adora, my girlfriend."

The words had the power to make Adora grin like an idiot at her feet even though the silence was more uncomfortable than ever.

"Whatever," Mermista finally said, rolling her eyes and skulking back over to the swings like a prowling cat. It cued Perfuma to give Adora a final, scathing look, before she followed, one arm linked in Bow's. Seahawk was already talking to him, rattling on with some long-winded story that seemed to involve a worrying amount of fire.

"I thought we weren't telling anyone?" The elation of being Glimmer's girlfriend had quickly faded.

"No one here will tell," Glimmer said. "And being gay is the fastest way to get accepted into our group."

"Yeah, who would believe us if we spread the rumour that the quarterback is gay?" Mermista managed to check her nails and set the swing going at the same time. Everyone was an only black shape in the darkness. There was a streetlight beyond the park, but it's light didn't quite reach them. "We're _only_ the school council."

Oh. Adora managed to bite her tongue before she cried out, 'That's where I recognise you from!'

"School council members who haven't been to a meeting since the start of term." Glimmer sniffed. She rummaged through a plastic bag at the bottom of the swing sets, emerging from it with a bottle in her hand.

"Can you blame us?" Perfuma said. She swinger from her own bottle and then offered it to Bow. He took it without looking, seemingly entranced by Seahawk's story. "After the football team bounced the ball off the windows every time we had a meeting?"

"That - that wasn't deliberate," Adora said. She could remember doing it. Of aiming for the window because everyone else was. Because Catra said it would be a laugh and she had wanted to make Catra smile. It had been a hard week at home, so she had wanted to make Catra smile.

"And ignored every rule, event etcetera etcetera we tried to put on," Mermista said.

"Everyone...ignored all that." Adora suddenly felt very big and very clumsy. Like a large dog trying to fit down a rabbit hole.

Glimmer shook her head, her fingers loosening on Adora's. It made her chest feel tight and panicked.

"No, Adora," Glimmer said, gently. "Everyone ignored the rules because the football team did."

The panic made Adora's anger snap. She dropped Glimmer's hand and scrambled to her feet.

"Well, shit, why did you even bring me here if you were just going to talk about how much the football team suck?!" She snapped. "I know they suck! I know they're asshole, but they're also my friends! We've all been friends forever and they're- they're okay. They're not the kind of people you just ditch or-"

"Be on the wrong side of?" Mermista said. She stood from the swing. "Oh no, you've realised your friends can be complete jerks to the people they don't like. Welcome to how the rest of the school feels."

"So, what do you want me to do about it? If they ever listened to me, they won't now. They won't if they know that I'm here with the loser's club!"

There was a pause in the park. Adora fought to catch her breath. She wanted a football. Wanted something to kick or toss or whatever. She was tempted just to tackle someone to the ground. Anger was red hot inside her at them – at the football team – at Catra – at – everything.

"I'm sorry," Bow murmured. "I was the one who introduced her to It."

"Oh, you teenagers," Seahawk said, standing up. He placed a heavy hand on Adora's shoulder, and she scowled at him. "So dramatic. Let me tell you a secret - high school doesn't matter."

"Who invited him, anyway?" Adora snapped, shaking the hand off.

"He's my mum's friend's son," Mermista her eyes. "He's meant to be keeping an eye on me."

"And so I am," Seahawk said. "But I'm also letting you go through the teenage rebellion that is a vital part of growing up."

Mermista blinked false eyelashes at him for another moment. "Whatever."

"It seems to me that Adora-" Seahawk put his arm around Adora's shoulder again and she shrugged him off. "Is swept away by the wave of the popular kids – what you kids call normies-“

“No one’s used that phrase since 2012,” Mermista mumbled, and Perfuma giggled at that.

“She’s feeling a lot of peer pressure to fit in, and isn’t as brave as you lot-“

“I’d say that running quarterback against a team twice my size is brave.” Adora’s skin prickled.

“Oh, yes. Brute strength is incredibly brave.” This time it was Perfuma rolling her eyes.

“Hey!” Glimmer snapped. She stepped forward, her hand stopping Adora from stepping forward. She hadn’t even been aware that she had been doing it. But now she realised that her fists and jaw were clenched tightly. “Adora _is_ brave. She’s incredibly brave to even consider dating me when she’s not out to a mom who wouldn’t approve. That’s one of the bravest things anyone can do. She’s brave for hanging around me and Bow when Catra and the rest of the football team would string her up the flagpole for it. She’s brave to see us at school and at home. And she’s brave to come out tonight to meet a bunch of people who’d hate her on sight. She’s getting top grades, actually – she’s one of the best in the class. And on top of that, she’s my _girlfriend_ , and if anyone has a problem with that they can fight me.”

Silence followed. The streetlamp flickered beyond the park and a chill went through Adora. September was quickly getting colder and colder.

Glimmer sat on the damp grass, her arms folded as she stared Perfuma and Mermista down.

“Whatever,” Mermista said again, and Perfuma nodded slowly. She turned large, dark eyes onto Adora, but when her gaze was met, she glanced away quickly – an awkward smile flashing across her face for just a moment.

Adora sank to her knees next to Glimmer, because there didn’t seem much else to do. Though she could hardly call this a pleasant Saturday night. She’d rather be in bed, than being offered a bottle of WKD by Bow. He had scooched over to join them, and had brought Seahawk with him. The more he spoke, the more uncertain Adora was whether to like him or hate him.

“Great sport, football. I used to play on the team, back in my Highschool days. Of course, I wasn’t good enough for a scholarship. I bet you are though, right? It’s a good way to get into college.

Mermista groaned, as Adora accepted the bottle. She kept her thumb pressed over the mouth of it as she pretended to take a swig, then passed it over to Glimmer.

“He’s always going on about college,” Mermista said.

“I’m having the best time of my life. I want that for you too.” Seahawk said. There was actually a note of tenderness to the bravado.

“Nah. Not worth the debt.” Mermista shrugged, kicking her boot in the dust of the swing set. She gave a few squeaky swings, then turned her razor sharp eyes onto Adora. “What about you? What are you thinking?”

Adora shrugged. “Undecided.”

Mermista stared at her for a long moment. Adora stared back. She would not be intimidated. She was determined not to be intimidated.

Then Mermista nodded, like Adora had passed some kind of test.

It opened the floodgates. Perfuma started talking about whether to go to college, or to find an internship somewhere – the pros and cons of both. Somehow it turned into dream jobs – cool, Summer jobs – just shit that would be fun to do. They all wanted to work a Summer camp at some point, they decided. It had everything – bonfires, swimming, climbing, sailing, like –

“Something out of a teen movie,” Adora said, and Glimmer nudged against her, smiling widely. Her cheeks were flushed and her words had started to slur. It was late. They had finished the bottle.

But somewhere along the way, Perfuma had started to make eye contact with Adora, and Mermista hadn’t been quite as cutting as she could have been. Sarcastic seemed to be her default. Adora wouldn’t call them friends, not for a long way yet, but there was progress. Less hatred and more interest. Well, she was interested in them too.

They were drunk. It was easy to see when Adora hadn’t taken a sip herself – she had been sure it wasn’t a good idea to get drunk in a park with people who hated her. They were drunk and it was late, and they had been talking about ideals as opposed to the future. So, it was time to head home.

“Loser’s club, huh?” Mermista said. The streetlamp had turned off by now and she was just a silhouette in the dark. “Well, welcome to the loser’s club asshole. You’re a school council member, now.”

“I didn’t agree to that,” Adora said. For some reason she was smiling.

“Call it a way of proving just how different you are.”

*

Catra was on her bed when she climbed back through the window. She had headphones on, playing music loudly and scowling down at her phone. Adora was sure she could hear _Everybody Hurts_ coming from the headphones, but Catra ripped them out as soon as Adora was back in her bedroom. The lamp by her bed was on, making Catra look softer than usual. She looked young, in her pyjamas with her hair loose and fluffy. Her tan skin almost golden in the low light.

“Hey, Adora. Look what the cat dragged in,” Catra murmured as she stood. She stepped towards Adora.

“Catra.” Adora wasn’t sure what to say. Wasn’t sure what to do. She felt frozen, suddenly, because Catra had said to stay away, and yet here she was. Smiling at Adora with teeth that looked sharp. It was the usual smirk, but now it looked predatory. She could only watch – her body refusing to move – as Catra stepped up to her, tilted her face closer to Adora’s. Like she was going to kiss her. For a moment, Adora thought she would.

“I should have known,” Catra murmured, pulling away. “Even when sneaking out, you’re too much of a goody two shoes to even drink.”

“Did you tell her?” It shouldn’t have been the problem Adora had. She should still be apologising, still trying to make things right. But she was scared. She was terrified because now Catra had the power and could get revenge and there was nothing Catra like more than vengeance. Now Adora could well be the one taking the tumble down the stairs.

“Oh, Adora.” Catra was almost purring. “I’m not you.”

And with that, she slinked out of the room. But her meaning was all too clear.

Adora owed her one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): I know this chapter was a long time coming and I honestly meant for it to be done so much earlier.  
> Basically, I moved student house and have only had a handful of days off where I haven't been working all day, sorting house stuff out, or at rehearsals. Whenever I'm in, I have no motivation to write because I am EXHAUSTED. Shortly before I moved, I was forcing myself to write between 12,000 and 15,000 a week and it really burnt me out. It's been really hard to get back into updating because I just don't have the energy with everything else I've been trying to do.  
> So, yes, this fic will continue, and I'll try to get back into a routine of writing. Hopefully it was just that this chapter was in the works for so long that it became a chore to finish it off. I do have a lot planned and want to see it through to the end.  
> Many thanks for everyone for lovely comments, kudos and sticking with me this long!! xx  
> (If you need anything to tide you over till the next update, I posted a glimmerdora oneshot following the events of season three a few weeks ago.)


	9. 9

9

Adora was on edge. She kept jumping at every thud she heard downstairs, or holding her breath every time she saw Beatrice walk into a room. Her nerves were starting to fry – she started at school as well – when the bell rang, she practically flew out of her seat.

And every time she did, she caught Catra’s eye. Just in time to see her smirk.

She cornered her at practice, jogging alongside her in the warm-up. For a moment, she stayed staring ahead, as if it was just coincidence she’d caught up.

“You’re really not going to tell her?” Despite her best efforts, it still sounded like a question.

“I told you, Adora,” Catra tossed her ponytail of curls back over her shoulder. “I don’t tell tales on my _sister_.”

“Since when did you do me sisterly favours?” Adora asked.

Catra was picking up speed. She was faster than Adora, just, and she knew it. Adora had to really push herself to catch up.

"Since you didn't do me any," Catra said.

"Apart from driving you to school every day." Adora was starting to get out of breath.

"Because Beatrice asked you to."  Catra was practically snarling. "Just do me a favour, Adora. Next time you sneak out, actually _drink_ some alcohol."

Catra somehow, impossibly, sped up and Adora fell behind. She slowed back down to a jog, trying to catch her breath and yet trying to keep running. She stared at Catra's back until her vision blurred slightly.

Guilt. That's what it was. Worse than telling Beatrice.  She was still milking out Adora's guilt.

“Just ignore her.” Glimmer kept saying, rolling her eyes whenever Adora complained. “Catra’s just trying to get to you, and as soon as she sees it is, she’ll piss off.”

“It’s not that simple.” But it was, and Adora knew it. And she knew that Catra was putting a strain on their relationship – the only relationship that Adora had ever had and she had no idea what she was doing. She knew that her shifting and jumping and irritability from the whole thing was annoying Glimmer.

But Glimmer just didn’t understand. Catra and her had always been two sides of the same coin. They were sisters – more than sisters, because they weren’t even blood related, and Adora couldn’t just walk away from this. Catra was family. And she couldn’t deal with family being like _this_.

Part of her just wanted everything to go back to the way it was. Before it was all this _complicated_.

“I shouldn’t have snuck you out last week. It would have avoided all this hassle,” Glimmer said at lunch, with just the slightest sting to her voice.

Adora felt her cheeks colour. She let her fork pick apart the layers of the limp chicken burger in front of her. A dripple of oil ran down it.

“You just don’t know what it’s like to have siblings, Glimmer.” Bow leant back in his chair.

“Neither do you?”

Bow blinked. “I’m one of twelve.”

Adora’s round eyes met Glimmer’s equally round eyes. A tiny thrill went through her about how in sync they were, despite the tension.

“What?” Adora rounded on Bow.

“You didn’t tell us that?!”

Bow shrugged. “You never asked,” he said. Then smiled. “You two were too busy making googly-eyes at each other and not realising the other was gay to ever pay Bow any attention.”

“Oh, Bow.” Glimmer put a fake pout on her face, reaching over and resting her chin on his head, wrapping her arms around him. “You know we love you the most!”

“Do I?” Bow remained stoic, crossing his arms and ignoring Glimmer’s cooing.

Adora sat there. Wondering if she ought to add herself to the mix. Suddenly, she felt shy. She’d never known two people more obsessed with touching each other than Glimmer and Bow.

She was saved from her indecision by Mermista. She sat down with her tray, took one long across the table, said, “ew,” and began eating. For a moment, Adora could only think of how much brighter Mermista’s hair was than she had originally thought. A bright indigo blue, like someone had dipped her into a fountain pen.

Then the situation kicked in.

“You’re sitting with us?” she asked.

“Thought we’d call a student council meeting,” Mermista shrugged. “Since _someone_ is so _busy_ with football all the time.”

She gave a pointed glance at Adora with dark eyes.

“We haven’t had a student council meeting all term,” Glimmer said. “You all said there was no point – nothing ever changes around here.”

“That’s not the right attitude to have,” Adora said. She had a notebook on the table, highlighting notes from last night’s research, and now she clicked and unclicked the lid on and off.

“Oh, she cares now.” Mermista remained unimpressed.

Adora was tempted to flip the bird at her. If it were Lonnie or Catra, she would have done. But she still didn’t know where she stood with Mermista. It made her feel uneasy. It was the first time in her life that she _wasn’t_ the most popular in her friendship group. Shit, her old friendship group hated her and so did eighty percent of the one she had now.

“Oh, I _told_ you that Adora would bring the student council team positive energy!” Now it was Perfuma, sitting down in front of a tray of every vegan option the cafeteria offered and some that they didn’t. Her skin was darker than Adora had first thought – naturally bronzed skin and bleached blonde hair from the sun. They lived as far away from the sea as possible, and yet Perfuma was the definition of beach babe.

“Yeah, forgive me for not believing someone who can still get drunk of WKD.”

“And yet I can get shit-faced on the cheap.”

Everyone else rolled their eyes at this, so Adora did too. Part of her hated that. She hated following everyone else’s cue because there was clearly an inside joke and she couldn’t read the vibe and –

“When did Adora become a loser?”

It had been the question on her mind all day. Playing over and over in her head like the time one of Glimmer’s records got stuck and they listened to the same bar of ‘A Whole New World’ for fifteen minutes straight.

She hadn’t expected to her Lonnie say it as she was heading out of the changing room at the end of the day, kit over her shoulder. One of the other girls was chuckling.

Adora turned back. “Excuse me?”

Lonnie looked at her. She had just taken off her shirt – was standing there in trackies and a sports bra. It activated the same squeeze of guilt it always had in Adora – the ‘don’t look down,’ panic. Don’t let anyone know that you find girl’s bodies fascinating. Now she thought of Glimmer and realised she hadn’t seen her in a bra yet. What kind did Glimmer wear?

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Lonnie snapped, breaking through Adora’s thoughts. “But if you must know, I was wondering why you’d decided to hang around a bunch of Tumblr grown nerds.”

“They’re not.” Adora’s fists clenched at her side.

“Your words, Adora, not mine. You said – literally during Summer vacation, that you wouldn’t be seen dead hanging around Glimmer Gongjunim.”

There was silence in the changing rooms. Everyone was staring at Adora, and she could _feel_ rather than see Catra’s triumphant smirk.

“I’m allowed to change my mind.”

“Yeah, I’m just wondering _what_ exactly changed your mind.”

Her eyes. Her smile. The fact I found her crying under a streetlamp with her make-up running down her cheeks and she still looked _beautiful_. The fact that she _hated_ me but gave me a chance and now – now maybe she –

“I just – spent time with her, got to know her –“

“In the park.” Catra’s voice cut across the room like a hot knife through butter. “On Saturday night, right, Adora?”

Adora opened her mouth to say ‘you said you wouldn’t tell-‘ and realised Catra did no such thing. She had said she wasn’t going to tell Beatrice. She hadn’t said that she wouldn’t tell anyone else.

Lonnie’s eyes narrowed. Most of the other girls were staring at Adora – with the same expression. Some just looked shocked, others hurt.

“ _Really_?” Lonnie asked.

“Although, you didn’t really _join in,_ did you, Adora?” Catra asked. She was enjoying this. She was so enjoying this, as she tightened her laces like a cat reeling in a mouse. “Totally t-total. Isn’t that the reason that we’d all stay out after the games without her?”

They might as well have thrown a bucket of ice water over her.

“I gave you a lift home,” Adora said. She was sure her heart had stopped beating. Her voice sounded quavery in the air around them.

“I snuck back out.” Catra shrugged. She rolled her eyes at Adora’s expression. “What did you _expect_ me to do, Adora? You suck the fun out of everything.”

At least Lonnie had the decency to look somewhat embarrassed. She pulled her t-shirt on, eyes on the floor so that her braids covered her expression.

“You guys went out without me?” Adora’s voice still sounded quiet.

Lonnie finally met her eyes. And her face was steely once again.

“Of course we fucking did, Adora. It’s not like we could take you along with us. You’re little Miss Perfect and you’d never do a thing wrong in your life.” Lonnie slammed her locker shut. “Well have fun with your new friends because they’ll soon get bored of you too.”

She barged past Adora, whacking their shoulders together. It stung. Not just the impact, the words too. The absolute venom and _hatred_ that was in Lonnie’s voice.

The rest of the team walked past. Following Lonnie’s lead.

They had always followed _Adora_ ’s lead.

Catra was the last one out. She raised her eyebrow at Adora. But then her eyes seemed to soften. She placed a hand on Adora’s arm -  the same one that Lonnie had bashed into.

“Hey,” she said, softly. For a brief, wild moment, Adora hoped that she would say sorry. Sorry – they were sisters and nothing would change that. But of course Catra wouldn’t. “Thanks for covering for me all those times. You’re really good at-“

Adora slapped her arm away, anger finally rearing through her like she’d just been hit by lightning.

“Fuck you.” Her voice was steady now. Steady and powerful. “Fuck you, Catra. And fuck the whole team too.”

Catra didn’t even flinch. If anything, the edge of her mouth curled upwards ever so slightly.

“I’ll let them know,” she said.

Adora could hear her footsteps travel all the way down the hall. She took a breath. It got stuck for a long, horrifying moment. Then it came out all at once in a breathy, shaky gasp.

She tried again, clenching her fists and squeezing her eyes shut because no – this wasn’t Adora. Adora didn’t cry in the girl’s changing rooms because some girls were being bitchy. She eased herself over and onto the bench, feeling as though she’d been kicked in the stomach by the whole group of them. This wasn’t Adora, she told herself, as she sat down gingerly.

But Adora wasn’t the girl who didn’t get invited to things. Adora wasn’t the girl who didn’t know how to join in the banter around the lunch table. That’s what it had been – all banter and no student council meeting. Adora wasn’t on the student council.

That was the problem. She didn’t know who Adora was anymore.

*

It felt like forever before she heard Glimmer’s voice.

“Adora?” She sounded cheerful – always cheerful, because she had nothing to worry about. She could come out to her mom. Her friends invited her to things.

Adora stayed where she was, slumped over on the bench with her head in her hands, just trying to breathe. Trying to breathe and not think about all of the times her friends may have been lying to her.

Hands appeared over her eyes. Soft hands. Hands that smelt of cream and nail polish.

“Guess who?”

Adora took Glimmer’s hands in her own. Pulled them down from her face and into her lap. She could feel Glimmer’s weight against her and kept pulling. So that she could feel someone else against her. Someone who wasn’t lying to her.

“Can we go home?” Adora whispered.

“That’s why I came looking for you,” Glimmer said. Her voice was soft.  She gave a butterfly kiss to the nape of Adora’s neck.

“And – can I stay the night?” Adora asked. She sounded like a small child. “I – I can’t go home tonight.”

“Oh, Adora. You don’t even need to ask.”

If Glimmer noticed her patchy cheeks and red rimmed eyes, she didn’t mention it. Though Adora did notice that of the two hot chocolates Glimmer made when they got in, hers had double the amount of marshmallows and crushed chocolate on top.

It was like everything was normal. They sprawled on Adora’s bed with nonsense playing away on Glimmer’s laptop (placed on her desk chair at the perfect height to see), and chatted about nothing. Glimmer hadn’t asked her mom if it was okay if Adora could stay round yet. It was starting to make her nervous, but she pushed the feeling down. That was the not fun Adora. The Adora that nobody wanted to be around. So she sent a quick text to Beatrice and tried to forget about it.

She watched, spooning one of Glimmer’s pillows as Glimmer re-did her nail polish. Both on her feet and on her hands, though they each had their own colour. Pale pink, blue, purple and a pale yellow. Then she spotted Adora’s raised eyebrow and smiled at her.

“Who has the willpower to only choose _one_ colour and stick with it for a whole week?”

And Adora actually laughed. This was making her feel better, just being with Glimmer. She clambered out of the mess of blankets and sloppily placed a kiss on Glimmer’s cheek. Then she was wrapping her arms around her and attacking the side of Glimmer’s neck with small, fluttery kisses.

“That’s not fair – my nails aren’t dry yet,” Glimmer said, but she was giggling.

“Ah, then you’re completely at my mercy.” Adora grinned and pulled down the side of Glimmer’s jumper. Her skin was warm.

Unfortunately, it was that moment that Angella decided to poke her head down the stairs. Adora sprung away from Glimmer, making the nail polish bottles wobble precariously.

“It’s about the time that I normally offer dinner, and Adora normally says no. Unless she has wet hair,” Angella said.

“Oh, can Adora stay the night?” Glimmer asked. “And since Adora has dry hair, we can go out for dinner.”

She winked at Adora, who managed to smile. Her stomach was in knots again. What if Angella said no? What if she couldn’t stay? She’d have to go back home and face Catra.

“Is everything alright, Adora?” Angella had come down a few steps and was peering at Adora with worry. She seemed to glow completely pink in all of the fairy lights stung up on the walls.

“Yeah, I just – I want to avoid Catra for a while.” She glanced at Glimmer, and felt like she’d revealed everything when Glimmer scowled.

“Catra’s such a bitch.”

“Glimmer! Don’t use that word!”

“Look, mom, some people _deserve_ that word. That’s why that word exists,” Glimmer said.

“You be careful, or Adora will have her dinner and you’ll have to go hungry.”

Glimmer rolled her eyes at Adora, but her voice was sugary sweet when she turned back to her mom.

“Sorry, mom.”

“Thank you, Glimmer.” Angella was already halfway up the stairs when she called. “Oh, and you have seen season three of _Stranger Things,_ haven’t you?”

“Yeah.”

“Three inches.”

Glimmer rolled her eyes again. “Yeah, that’s one rule I’m definitely not following.”

“Three inches?”

“Stay three inches apart.” Glimmer blew on her nails. “Completely out of kissing range.”

“Wait – your mom _seriously_ knows?” Adora asked.

Glimmer bit her lip for a moment, looking guiltily across at Adora.

 “And I can’t keep a secret from her – once she asked me I just had to say yes. She’s cool with it, really Adora. She _likes_ you. Sometimes I think she likes you more than she likes me, from the way she goes on about you.”

“Your mom likes me?” Adora pushed her hair out of her face. She couldn’t help smiling.

“What mom wouldn’t like you?” Glimmer said. She was tapping each nail to see if the polish was dry. “You’re, like the perfect high school boyfriend. Just a girl.”

Perfect. Little miss perfect. Lonnie’s face appeared behind Adora’s eyelids. She clenched her jaw and blinked hard.

“Adora? Are you okay?” Glimmer’s hand was on her arm. Her fingers were cold.

“Just some – things the team said. It’s not – it’s nothing.”

“Do you want me to fuck them up for you?” Glimmer asked.

Adora smiled – couldn’t believe she was smiling, but Glimmer just had that effect on her. “Language, Princess Glimmer.”

Glimmer scowled at her, but her cheeks were glowing red.

“Who are you calling Princess?”

“Who else but you, Princess?”

She wasn’t prepared to take Glimmer’s weight. But suddenly Glimmer had thrown her arms around Adora’s neck, her mouth open on Adora’s. They fell backwards onto the bed, a giggling mess of limbs.

“But seriously, Adora.” Glimmer tucked a strand of hair behind Adora’s ear, looking at it as if it were made of gold. “I’m not afraid to be your knight.”

“I know,” Adora whispered, and kissed the top of Glimmer’s head.

It was easy to forget about everything when she was with Glimmer. They were together – and they were together because Glimmer kept _wanting_ to hang out with Adora. She _chose_ to be with Adora.

Both Glimmer and Bow had _wanted_ to be her friend. And it didn’t matter that she was a little bit weird. They shrugged it off and hung out with her anyway.

So that’s who Adora was. She was Glimmer and Bow’s friend.

*

Angella insisted on making up a blow-up mattress and spare duvet for Adora. They both helped, watching the fabric unfurl itself like a creature waking itself up, and every so often catching each other's eyes and giggling.

"It's a school night, so don't stay up too late,” Angella prodded the mattress with a  sandelled foot to check if it was solid enough.

"It's a sleepover mom.” Glimmer tossed some of her least favourite cushions down onto the bed. Adora sunk onto it and tossed them back. She’d never slept with more than a single pillow in a twin bed. She didn’t need all of this.

"I also have school in the morning. Do not wake me up in the night.” Angella closed her eyes as if she wanted to ignore Glimmer tossing the pillows back with more force. “Adora has a match this week, she needs her rest."

Angella looked at Adora as though she wanted her to agree with her. Normally Adora would, but she couldn’t stand to think of the match right now. Out on the field with no one who wanted to watch her back. No doubt it would be a nightmare.

"Mm,” she finally said.

“I thought you loved football.”

“I do.” Adora was unconvincing.

“I've been telling you for years, mom, those girls are just bitc-horrible.”

“ _Glimmer_ ,” Adora hissed.

“What? I didn’t say the b-word.” Then Glimmer’s eyes widened. “Oh, mom, please don’t do the ‘is everything alright,’ spiel!”

“Well? Is it?” Angella said. There was a line between her eyebrows as she looked between the two of them.

Adora kept her eyes on the floor and nodded. It was surprisingly hard to lie to Glimmer’s mom.

“Just girls being girls,” she muttered.

“Well I know that girls can go too far sometimes.”

“ _Mom!_ Adora didn’t come over for a school counsellor session!”

Angella actually laughed at that – a lovely twinkly sound that made Adora think of hot, homemade dinners and evenings sat on the sofa watching trash t.v.

“Alright, I’ll leave you girls to it,” she said, making her way back over to the stairs. She paused at the bottom and glanced back at Adora. “Maybe you can chat to your foster mother about it when you get home.”

Adora waited until Angella had disappeared all the way up the stairs to roll her eyes.

“That’s never going to be likely,” she said.

“Adora? Do you…like your foster mother?” Glimmer asked. She toed a cushion down onto Adora’s bed. She stared at it. It was pink and covered in the kind of fake fur that made her skin itch.

“Sure,” Adora said. “She’s my mom.”

Glimmer was still staring at her with concern in those lavender eyes so Adora tossed the cushion back onto the bed and forced a grin onto her face.

“So what do you normally do at a sleepover?” she asked.

“Have you never been to a sleepover before?”

“Of course, I have. Just in a big group. Never just two people.”

“Never with a _girlfriend_?” Glimmer was smiling now. Cocking her head on one side so that Adora could see the wisps of hair that stuck straight up at the nape of her neck. Like candyfloss.

“Never with a girlfriend.”

“I think it goes something like, romantic movie, doing each other’s hair, makeovers and making out.”

“Mm, no to all but the last,” Adora said.

Glimmer blew a raspberry at her.

“You’re not making me watch some trash like _Mamma Mia_ or _The Fault in Our Stars_.”

“Excuse _you_!” Glimmer poked Adora with her newly painted toes. “Are you telling me you didn’t fall head over heels in love with Augustus Waters?”

“Glimmer. I’m _gay_.”

They both dissolved into giggles. Glimmer slipped off the bed and onto the air mattress, leaning her weight onto Adora. Adora leant back against her, Glimmer’s hair tickling her cheek. She wondered why she hated that word until she said to Glimmer. Or Bow. Then the word felt – right. It felt okay.

“Okay,” Glimmer said. She was practically sat in Adora’s lap. “No _Fault in our Stars_ , but there _are_ good romantic movies.”

“I’m not buying it.”

“I will prove it to you, Adora.”

Adora shook her head and just laughed. She didn’t even care that much – it was just the principle of the matter. Just to get Glimmer to have that sparkle in her eye and flush in her cheeks.

Glimmer’s fingers found Adora’s hair tie and she slipped it out, running her fingers along honey blonde hair. Even though it was tangled and sweaty. Adora supposed it always was and Glimmer had just gotten used to it.

“You look so pretty with your hair down,” Glimmer said. Adora scoffed and Glimmer gave her a light push on the shoulder. “ _Please_ let me plait it.”

“This is just a sneaky way to get me to agree to a make-over, isn’t it?” Adora caught Glimmer’s hand, tangled their fingers into each other’s.

Glimmer rolled her eyes dramatically and sighed. “Never!”

“Really?”

“I’m just trying to fill you in on all of the experiences that you’ve missed out on,” Glimmer said. She kissed Adora, still smiling.

It was Adora’s turn to roll her eyes.

“You can play with my hair and we can watch _a_ movie. But you are not coming near me with a makeup brush.”

“Deal.”

*

Adora didn’t escape the night so easily. She had to rub at a slimy smear of pink lip gloss on her cheek the next morning when she woke up. There was nothing she could do about the pink nails but hope no one noticed too much.

Bow did, of course. He raised his eyebrows and looked at Glimmer, receiving only a smug shrug in response. There was another school council meeting at lunch, that was filled with everything but school council meetings. In fact, Mermista spent most of the time talking about how people were the absolute worse and everyone just seemed to make a lot of gay jokes.

And Adora didn’t have a problem with that. In fact, she found that she was liking it. She was getting glares from across the cafeteria, but it didn’t seem to matter. Not when she was sat by Glimmer and Bow. Her _friends_. Not just any friends, either. She was starting to realise that they were her _best friends_. This is what it meant to have best friends. And she loved that. She loved that she could be herself around them and that they were fine with that. They _liked_ her for that.

The only down side was her phone was blowing up. She had turned it off after dinner and only ventured to look at it in last period. It wasn’t looking good.

She drove back home by herself, telling Glimmer that it was best she sort things out by herself. That she needed to talk to her mom.

Glimmer had misunderstood.

“That’s great,” she said. “I hope you can sort it out.”

Adora hoped so too.

But she had barely put her fingers on the door handle before it flew open.

And she knew this wasn’t going to be easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): Thank you for being so patient and sorry for always making you wait so long for the next chapter.  
> It's just hard to balance third year and a job and mental health. Over the Summer I was definitely pushing myself too hard and I definitely needed some time to just stop and not put so much pressure on myself to update weekly.  
> But I am really starting to feel on top of things now. Hopefully I'll be able to put out more chapters without a two month gap between them. (Though tbh I have no idea where September went? Fake month, it didn't happen.) It turns out sometimes you just need to stand in the shower and think of fanfiction until you really want to write again.  
> Anyway, thanks so much for reading as always - thank you in advance for commenting, kudos-ing and bookmarking.  
> See you all soon <3 xx

**Author's Note:**

> (A/N): THE ART FOR THIS FIC WAS DONE BY THE WONDERFULLY TALENTED S9MU (https://s9mu.tumblr.com/)  
> THEY ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL SO GO AND SHOW THEM SOME LOVE EVERYONE!
> 
> So you may have noticed this was written for the She Ra Big Bang! I will be continuing it as a multi-chapter fic as well as I have a lot more planned. So definitely watch this space! This has been such a wonderful project to be part of and I've had a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to seeing everyone else's work! Good job everyone!
> 
> Thank you all for reading/commenting/leaving kudos. I appreciate it more than I can say x


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